Doing what they shouldn't be
by Wingtear
Summary: Sequel to Nessie & Jacob , sitting in a tree. A few years have passed, Nessie's finally finishing high school and it's time for her to be told everything. Problem is, she has a few wishes of her own for her graduation night and they go south, way south...
1. getting ready

**Authors Note:** All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, the rest is just my mind playing while I work.  
Love to all of you who favorited/alerted/subscribed to **N&J, sitting in a three**! I hope you'll enjoy this story just as much!  
This is the sequel to _Nessie & Jacob, sitting in a tree_, you do not need to read it to follow this one, but I think you'll find yourself a bit lost about Nessie and Edward if you haven't.

**Beta:** **Lacrema** You're the best, truly. I would be lost without you.

--

**Chapter 1**

**Nessie**

Great, just great!  
Here I am, finally done with high school (for the first time, that is), and I'm being escorted to my senior prom by my father. Honestly, could this get any more embarrassing? No matter how good I look, and Alice made sure that is _very_ good, I'll still be the girl with no date.

I understand that Jacob can't disobey a direct order from Sam. But it's not like I can tell people that my boyfriend would be here if he didn't have to go hunt down a group of newborn vampires in his wolf-form. I actually think saying that would be worse than coming alone. Both Emmett and Jasper offered to take me, but it didn't feel right, and how could I choose between them anyway? I guess I could have asked Seth, he looks enough like Jacob to fool people, but he's going to his own prom, with his current girlfriend.

"Chin up, Nessie, this will be the best night of your life!"

Alice knows I'm sobbing, and why. She's in on all my plans; she doesn't like them at all but admits that I am old enough to make my own decisions when it comes down to this.

"He said he would do his best to be there when you arrive. Is it really so bad to not go from here to there together?"

"No, but not knowing if he'll make it is. I wish you could see them."

"So do I sweetie, so do I..."

She gave me one last hug and placed one more pin in my stubborn hair, now twisted up in an elaborate knot, leaving curls to frame my face.

"You look divine."

Mom entered the room as she spoke softly. She held a jewelery box in her hands and sat down on my bed.

"I know you love that necklace but it doesn't go well with the dress and the rest of your attire. I think this would look lovely on you."

She opened the box, displaying a simple necklace. The chain was thick and almost scaled, short enough to gently caress the neck at all times. There was just one charm on it, but what a charm! It was a perfectly pure diamond, the size of a golf ball. Mom's wedding gift from the Volturi leader, Aro.

"Mom, I can't use that! It's too much, I'll just use some of the stuff you and dad've given me."

She swiftly got to her feet and was clasping it around my neck before I had time to stop her. My reflexes had slowed since I had gotten my period a little over three years ago. One more thing that set me apart from Nahuel's sisters. Both mom and Rose had been so ecstatic, I think they would have cried their eyes out if they only had any tears.

She was right, the necklace wasn't too much after all. It suited the dress so well that I realized Alice had picked it knowing about moms plan all along. Did it really matter anyway? Everyone already knew we were rich, this would only make them more envious. I was so relieved that this was the last time I would have to see any of them. Jess had decided to make my life a living hell after my sweet sixteen when I started dating Jacob and her making fun of me in the cafeteria fell flat. She didn't do much that year, until Alice graduated. Now, however, she took every chance she got to be mean and give snickering comments about Jacob, his looks, how much older he was, how he didn't even finish high school. She knew an awful lot about him. Sometimes Google really isn't my friend at all.

"Esme wanted to lend you these. They are her favorites."

Mom handed me a pair of marvelous earrings. Alice had made sure I got my ears pierced right after my big party, scolding herself for not thinking about it before.

"Thanks, Nanna. I love them and will be careful with them."

I said it quite loud, not knowing exactly where in the house she was.

"Is there more or can we leave?"

I was getting restless, I wanted to be by Jacob's side as soon as possible.

"No, I think you're done. The bracelet we'll just have to live with."

Yes, they would. As we made our way downstairs I fingered it. The only time I'd ever taken it off since Jacob gave it to me was when he'd added to its length. It made me feel like I carried an ever-so-small piece of him with me all the time, and I felt naked without it.

"Renesmee, you are truly stunning..."

Not only dad, but the rest of the family too, was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. Jasper was literally radiating off joy as he looked at me; he always relished being around me when I thought about Jacob. They had me spin, showing off the deep green dress that hugged me so tightly. Dad looked at me with sad eyes before he hugged me hard-- a little too hard, it would leave bruises in the morning.

"You grew up too quickly, where did our baby go?"

"Aw, dad, we both know I wasn't a baby for long."

"Now, that's exactly what I mean."

He held out the coat for me; it was Rosalie's favorite and I felt surrounded by love, thinking about how they all were part of my garment. The dress Alice had picked, mom's necklace, Esme's earrings, Rosalie's coat, Jacob's bracelet and the knowledge that any man, fine, male vampire, in the house would have escorted me if I had only let them.

"Your chariot awaits you, my fair lady."

Dad bowed as if he were a mere servant. It made me smile as I left the house that I loved as much as my parents' cottage. The Vanquish was the only car in the driveway.

"If you are to arrive alone, at least you should do so in style. It's not too late to ask Emmett or Jasper to join you, you know."

I reached out my hand and touched him, showing him exactly how much too late it was and had been since I had turned six, or sixteen.

"I know Jacob's the only one on your mind, sweetie, but just for show..."

He opened the door and held it as I slipped in. As he was about to close it, Alice came out of the front door at an alarming speed, holding my purse.

"Phew, I made it. We almost forgot this; that would have ruined the night!"

She winked at me as she handed it to me. Yes, without the key inside it my nightly plans would become a complete disaster.

Dad rolled his eyes and muttered something about girls and handbags, oblivious to the real meaning behind the exchange. Alice had gotten good at hiding her thoughts lately.

--

Arriving at City Hall, wow, how did they manage that? Every other year's had just been in the gym. It was as I feared, no Jacob waiting for me. The Vanquish made it impossible for me to sneak in unnoticed; everyone's heads turned as dad pulled to a halt and got out to get my door. The wave of gasps that went through the crowd made me smile. They had been right, Alice and Rosalie, to dress me up way too much. I felt better knowing I looked wonderful.  
Jess was the first to come up to me once I was inside.

"So, where's that native boyfriend of yours? Or did they make a rule saying you need to have finished high school to come?"

She didn't manage to make me angry anymore, just sad.

"He's working. He said he'd try to make it in time."

"Oh my, is there a tree emergency down on the rez?"

In the official version Jacob worked as a woodsman for the rangers and took some extra shifts at a car repair shop. I didn't bother to answer her question; she needed no more fuel for her fire. When I spotted some of the people usually sitting at my lunch table, I went and stood by them, keeping a close eye on the entrance.

--

**AN:** So, what do you think of this first chapter of sequelness? **Was it worth the wait?** Please do not expect the same insane uploading rate as I had on the first part (once a day...), this one is harder, I want to be careful with where I take them, and I also want both myself and Lacrema to be satisfied before I upload.


	2. meeting new friends

**Authors Note:** All things twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, as usual. **WOW!** Thanks for ALL the reviews! I was seriously shocked that I got so many, 37 now... and that so many of you have favorite'd and subscribed... I'm honestly honored! I'll try my best to not disappoint you.  
Another happy note, no one have criticized the grammar =) that means that I give a great big deal of my praise to **lacrema**, my beta!  
I hope you'll enjoy chapter two, even though it took so long to get it up, I'm really, really sorry for that! Thanks for waiting patiently, most of you at least ;)

--

**Chapter 2**

**Nessie**

As the music started I felt tears prickle the back of my eyes. I sat alone at my table, watching the others dance as I played with the little name-tag saying "Vanessa Cullen and partner". This had to be a difficult herd of newborns if it took this long to hunt them down. Oh no! What if he got hurt? What if they bit him? I felt the whole of me start to shake at the thought-- my Jacob, dying in the woods. No, snap out of it! I pulled myself up mentally and looked around for someone, anyone, to go talk to. The wide hall was filled with the usual decorations, balloons, flowers, paper figurines and such, Alice would have an migraine attack if she ever saw this. I guess that to anyone not use to her decoration style this was actually quite nice. The only crowd not dancing was the gang of boys who spent most of the time in between classes talking about last weekend's parties and how soon they could start again on Friday. At the table next to them sat a group of girls that wasn't all that unfamiliar. They were usually nice to me, but mostly they didn't acknowledge my existence. I braced myself, running the mantra "things can't get worse than they already are..." over and over in the back of my head. I had to find something to occupy my mind until he got here, otherwise I would probably freak out, and that was not part of my graduation plans.  
Well, plans and plans... Jacob had called me about a week ago, saying he had something to tell me after the prom was done, and I could hear in his voice that it was something serious and important. I guess it has to do with me going off to college in the fall. I've been accepted to quite a few schools, but haven't decided yet. So, he'll probably take me somewhere private to talk, and that made me decide. Prom night would be the night. No matter what. That, and the fact that I overheard dad speaking with Sam, the pack-leader. Being constantly shielded has its advantages; dad couldn't hear me. I replayed it in my mind, marveling at the opportunity it had shown me.

"_So, what will happen now, when the command you left on him starts to wear off?"_

"_There's no command."_

"_What? Sam, Jacob showed me as soon as he got home; there's a command, alright."_

"_Only as long as he believes it. Or actually, only as long as Nessie believes it. She doesn't tempt him because she knows that if he'd have a desire to go against the command it would hurt him, and she doesn't want that. If she ever had we'd know, because there is nothing holding Jacob back in reality."_

"_But I saw it."_

"_Edward, only the Alpha can command, and I left that position to him a long time ago, around the time I sent Paul to be his Second in Command. I just didn't tell him, and I have made darn sure to not be phased at the same time as him. I have been Second in my own pack for almost four years now. Nobody noticed since we're never on patrol together. I will stop phasing completely next year, and I had to make sure he was ready for this. As it is, now I can tell him honestly that he already has been running the pack for so many years. So, basically, there is no command on Jacob, but as long as they believe there is, it doesn't matter."_

"_How did I not know this?"_

"_No one but me and Emily did. And I'm good at hiding my mind, both from my brothers and from you."_

"_So, what you're really telling me is, that if Jacob would have gotten frisky one night when we were out hunting, there would have been nothing to stop him."_

"_Nothing more than his own, and Nessie's, beliefs."_

My head had reeled at all the possibilities that finally opened up for me. For example, I would be able to kiss Jacob, really kiss him, like I hadn't done since that first time, without worrying it would leave him sick or in pain. And then I remembered how many of the others were getting rooms, even the girls, and I realized I knew what I wanted for my graduation. It took me a day or so to convince Alice to arrange it for me. I couldn't very well do it myself since I never got to go anywhere alone with the newborns circling the perimeters. She was reluctant at first, but then she had a vision and turned one-eighty on me. I don't understand why, she doesn't see me and she doesn't see any of the wolves. She had dropped my bags off in the room earlier today, and she picked up the key for me. She had payed in advance, saying she didn't want me to put it on a card connected to dad's. Good thinking. I was so anxious, Jacob just had to make it in time.

I shook my head, trying to break free of my sulking, and got to my feet. I grabbed my purse and the little bag I had stored in the wardrobe when we did the last decorations yesterday. It held something that Jacob liked to drink, according to Embry. I didn't even know what it was. I was fairly certain it contained alcohol, and when you're entering a new group, don't they say you should come bearing gifts? The girls eyed me carefully as I drew closer. The boys didn't bother to look up, they were all talking about last night's game. I rolled my eyes as I heard them, they reminded me of Emmett. One of the girls saw it and started giggling. I decided it was a good sign and smiled.

"Can I come sit with you, my date seems to have missed that it's the girl who's supposed to take forever getting dressed."

That sent a wave of giggling around the table, but they eased closer to each other, making room for me, and a cute red-head pulled up a chair from another table.

"Sure, sit down. You're Vanessa, right?"

She patted the empty seat next to her and I happily obeyed.

"Yeah, but I prefer being called Nessie. Just like the Scottish water-monster, you know."

"Neat! I'm Cam, and these other girls are Sarah, Gabby, Christine," she rolled her eyes and mock whispered as a girl with long chocolate brown hair rolled hers right back at us "We called her Chris before, but she decided it's too much of a boy name now-- Tam, Brianna, Hollie and last but sure as damnation not least, Monique."

All of the girls looked at me, nodded or winked as they heard their name and when Cam's presentation was over they all started babbling again, everyone at the same time. It took some time before I realized that they were all directing questions to me. When they realized that they all spoke at once they broke down giggling again. I looked at Cam, wondering what I missed.

"Sorry, we're just a bit tipsy. You want a drink?"

She wiggled a tiny silver bottle at me, but I shook my head, lifting my bag a little and winking at her.

"I have my own."

Her face broke into the biggest smile I had ever seen.

"And they say you're an uptight spinster. I didn't think so! What have you got?"

"They say that? Why? I don't really know what I've got, a friend packed it for me, saying it would be good for a lot of fun."

"Because they're jealous, why else. Come on, haven't you seen that Carter girl glare after you and that Quileute boyfriend of yours? Or maybe I should say drool..."

She smirked and cast an eye in Jess's direction. Sure enough, she was still giving me evil glares every now and then across the hall.

"And because you don't ever party, I guess" she concluded.

"That's my dad's fault. He's a control freak. He says I can party all I want, as long as he gets to speak to all the other kids' parents first. I don't think he noticed that this was high school, not kindergarten."

I rolled my eyes and gave a little sigh. It was all true, but I didn't mention how happy I was every time dad said I couldn't go, because that meant more time with Jacob.

"Holy crap, and I thought my dad was bad, saying I had to come home tonight. Well, he can always wish."

The girl speaking was straight across the table from me, either Tam, or Brianna.

"So, you're not going home?"

"No way, the boys are throwing a bonfire down at the hotel beach when this is over, wanna come?"

The other girls looked a bit startled that she asked me, but not upset about it. Oh, what the heck.

"Sure, I was going to the hotel eventually, anyway."

"Whaaaat!"

"Nooo!"

All the girls cried out at once. I could do nothing but grin foolishly at them.

"Well, if my boyfriend decides to make it in time, that is."

"Of course, and if he doesn't, there's always willing candidates at the other table."

Christine inclined her head, making her brown hair sweep over the table, towards the rowdy boys next to us. I couldn't keep myself from laughing. They had nothing on Jacob, any of them. Just so uninteresting, somehow.

"So, where is your boyfriend, really? I heard Carter yapping to people about tree-emergencies, I guess that's not the real thing, is it?"

In an attempt to buy myself time I took one of the bottles from my bag and popped the cap with my fingers.

"Wow, how did you do that? Not even Hank can do that," she tilted her head towards the biggest of the rowdy boys, still a shrimp next to my Jacob, "without breaking the bottle, as well."

"Years of training."

No need to mention that the training came from sodas, right? I pretended to take a sip, and then followed their example, hiding the bottle amongst the many layers of tulle that made up my skirt so the chaperons wouldn't see it too clearly. I took a deep breath before answering the first question.

"Jacob is out with all of the tribe, looking for some kids lost in the reserve forest. The rangers are no good there, no one knows the rez better than these guys."

"That makes much more sense. So, think he'll come down to the hotel later?"

"He didn't know we were going..."

"I don't understand how anyone can find you innocent, Nessie; not if they knew you at all."

It stung my heart a little, to think that I had let these girls get to know me better in half an hour than any of my human friends throughout high school. I feigned another sip of the bottle, I don't understand how Jacob could force himself to drink this, it smelled so foul. OK, so I'm biased, I don't like to drink anything but blood, not even water. Food is acceptable, ever since I started getting my period I get these immense chocolate cravings once a month, and I just love anything grilled. Once more I lifted the bottle, but again the reek made me recoil.

Where was he?

--

**AN:** I guess, just like last time, I have to ask if it was worth the wait? I'll try to have the next chapter up quicker, but do not expect miracles, it's not yet finished. I hope you all understand how grateful I am that **lacrema** helps me with this story, her thoughts can not be valued enough for the story's clarity!  
**Please, pretty please, review. **(I am not above begging as you see) anyone else than **onyx-rocks** interested in more about the newborn vampires? Next chapter will still be Nessie, then Jacob will come along.


	3. running late

**Authors Note: **All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just meddle in their lives. I'm really happy that you seem to like this story/sequel. So, I changed my mind, Jacob gets to tell a bit about his side in this chapter, and I'm still not sure who of them will get to speak in the next. Cred to **onyx-rocks** who was the one to inspire me to write about the newborns.

beta: **Lacrema** (she's the reason there is so much descriptions, she keeps demanding more and more from me...)  
--

**Chapter 3**

**Nessie**

As the last dance played, I sat alone at the table. A few of the rowdy boys had asked me to dance, but I just couldn't make myself. I was lost in memories of another night, just as significant as this, that I had spent longing for him. Only difference was that he showed up that time.

I let myself have another sip from the bottle, emptying it. It didn't taste that vile anymore, but then again, it was my third. I don't even know when I stopped caring about the reek and just took a mouthful and swallowed. After the first few gulps the reaction to gag eased and, according to the girls around me, that was normal. I felt a little fluffy at the edges, not quite sure where my consciousness ended, and mused over the fact that something, anything about me was normal. That was a first, but I guess dad would disapprove about my ability to get a buzz.

As the music faded and the lights came on, one after the other, the girls returned to the table. They didn't seem to be in any hurry to leave, just passing around their little bottles. I was getting anxious, what was I supposed to do? If I left, Jacob would never find me. But if I went home, Rosalie would kill him for not making it, and I didn't want to cause him more trouble. I let out a sigh so deep that the girl next to me, with her red hair now mostly escaped from its intricate braid, turned around to look at me.

"What's wrong? It's Jake, right?" Cam scowled as she said the name.

"I prefer to call him Jacob, but yeah, it's him. I don't know what to do; if I go with you guys to the beach he'll never find me..." I sighed again.

"Leave him a message or something, doesn't he have a cell?"

"No, he says he don't need one." I rolled my eyes as I said it, even though I knew why he didn't need it. The pack mind made it unnecessary, all he had to do was phase. And when he wasn't wolfing around he was always at our place, or around other people with cell phones. Cam, however, looked totally horrified by the statement.

"Seriously? Shit, I thought everyone had one. Don't you?"

"Yeah, but I left it at home, so my parents won't be able to call and tell me to come home..." I smiled mischievously as I winked at her.

She laughed and dropped the subject, turning to her other side to address the pretty blond sitting there. "So, Gabby, how will we divide in the cars?"

The blond looked around her, checking for something before she answered."Jimmy should be here with the minivan any minute, and Brianna managed to keep sober, so it's really not a problem. I mean, it will be crowded, but it'll work."

"Your brother is a life saver! But wasn't Hank supposed to drive? He hasn't touched a drink all night." Cam let her eyes wander over the bulkiest of the boys at the other table.

Gabby made a face I didn't quite understand, she looked almost disgusted."Yeah... well, there's more things than alcohol that makes you unfit to drive, without showing in your breath..."

Cam's eyes widened and she stopped ogling Hank at once. "I thought he had stopped with that shit?"

"I saw him when I went out for a breather. But don't worry, I picked his pocket..." She held up a set of keys before returning them to her handbag. "I think we'll make him go with Jimmy, and stay behind ourselves to 'search' for them. Brianna will drive us and we'll say we found them under a table, in the mens' room, on the dance floor or something."

"He'll stay behind and search himself."

"No, he's quite eager to get wasted. And Jeanie said she might show at the beach." The last statement was accompanied by an eye roll.

Cam looked disturbed. "Why can't he just get over her?"

As they continued to plan who would go in which car, and bicker about boys in general, I was trying to clear my mind enough to find a way to tell Jacob I left, and where I had gone. I could rub myself to a building, I guess, but that would only tell him I had been there, nothing more. Maybe if I wrote a note, hiding it somewhere he would find it by following my scent? Problem with that plan would be getting away from the group long enough and finding a place where no one else would discover the note.

Before I had a plan laid out, the girls all began to gather their handbags, shawls and other accessories. Christine looked at me, smiling as she held out her hand. "Come on, Nessie, I know the guy who'll be watching this place tonight. We'll write him a note to give to your hot date when he gets his slow butt over here."

I grabbed her hand and obediently followed her as she lead the way. She fetched me a piece of paper; I had a pen myself. I scrambled the words quickly, before I lost my courage.

_the hotel beach, party, come find me  
love you_

_Ness_

I folded it and handed it to the short Mexican boy, who looked adoringly at Christine the whole time, before I began to regret the _love you_ part. She gave him a peck on the cheek and as she walked away she let her hand draw across the front of him. I looked at her incredulously, apparently my shock was evident all over my face because she laughed at me. I had to ask. "Your boyfriend?"

She laughed even harder. "Oh, don't he wish!" She giggled all the way to the waiting car.

We had missed the drama; Hank was already in the back of the van, sulking. Cam smiled at me conspiratorially, and shoved me in beside him. His face brightened at once. I sighed inside as his eyes got stuck about a foot below my face. In the end, it got very crowded, and I was pinned to his side by Hollie, sitting in the lap of her boyfriend Joe, the guy next to me. She was a little on the heftier side, and I was really crammed in between all the bodies.

The talk flowed easily, and despite the uncomfortable seating, the ride was really funny-- I laughed the whole way . I felt a pinch of hysteria when I realized that my good spirits came from just that, spirits. Then I laughed like crazy about that.

**Jacob**

I looked up at the dark sky as I walked, wondering exactly how late I was. It was a strike of luck that I had let Alice talk me into changing at their place, since that was where we were going now. Leah, who somehow managed to keep her cell with her at all times, had called Sam and he was going to meet us at the Cullen residence, or the crypt as it was generally known in the pack. Since he's the Alpha, this is his problem to deal with, anyway.

Looking around, I checked to make sure that all of my brothers and my one little sister were doing alright. So the herd had promised they were no danger to us. I'm not taking chances with newborns. No way. There were five of them, and even though they all had blackish crimson eyes, none of them were wild, not at all like the army hunting for Bella.

---

Before any of the pack could even reach the origin of the scent trail leading to the lake, a dreamy voice echoed in our shared mind.

"Please leave. We mean you no harm; please, turn around and forget you heard this voice."

The answer came as angry howls from every direction in the forest. When the voice sounded again, it had gained a hint of distress.

"Please, I beg of you, do not come here! We do not wish to hurt anyone, but I am not sure we can... control it... any longer."

I decided to go further alone. Obviously Seth and Leah decided that they were still a part of me, and followed close behind. The scent of the vampires was, as always, utterly sweet and nauseating; but just as the case with the Cullen's smell, there was something a little bit softer about it.

When I set my first paw on the sand, the voice rang again, in laughter this time."Oh, wonderful. You're not humans! That's a... relief!"

There was no one in sight, except for a few ripples on the water. The ripples grew bigger, into waves, as they approached the shore. When the waves broke on the pier, a short and skinny man erupted from the water, faintly shimmering in the moonlight. Vampire, no doubt about that. I searched the lake for more activity, but all was still once more. The man shied back, wrinkling his nose, when the wind blew from behind us. He looked indecisive for a second before beginning to speak, out loud this time. He was, obviously, the owner of the voice we had already heard.

"So the..." he hesitated, appearing a bit perplexed "...rumors are true, the coven that does not feed on humans is protected by foul-smelling beasts. I do not mean to be rude, but I have never encountered anything this... " he ran a translucent hand through the scarce patches of red hair on his head, searching for the right word, "...unappealing. We were searching for this coven, as we do not wish to prey on humans. All attempts to contact them in other ways have been... hindered."

With his last words, the rest of the vampires came up from the water without causing even a ripple across the still silver surface. Three females, a middle aged male and a very old man followed him.

After a few more remarks about how much we reeked, all as I played the perfect gentle-wolf and kept my mouth shut, I phased so that we could inform them about the treaty and what we did with vampires on our land.

"So, what you're saying is that you can kill us? You can kill vampires?" the old man's voice was surprisingly sharp, considering his appearance. He was just as pale and stone-like as the others, but his skin was hanging around his skeleton in a way, even now, that made me wonder if he would have lived long if someone hadn't turned him.

"Yes, that's exactly what I mean." I wondered briefly why I was even having this discussion, maybe because they had been _happy!_ to see us. We really should be tearing them to pieces by now, I was running late.

"Like Junior here said," the old man inclined his head towards the red-headed male, "we wish for nothing more than finding Carlisle's coven. At least, the youngsters do. I believe I found my faith here."

I tried to make out what he meant as a frenzy of hissing and snapping of teeth greeted his words. He held up his hand and they all fell silent. "Children. You all knew I would find a way to leave you when I knew you were safe. These creatures may have a less-then-despicable scent and they may be very frightening in both beast and human-like form, but their leader holds no hatred in his heart. I feel assured that he will lead you to wherever this coven resides, without tearing you apart one after one. Am I right, son?"

His eyes, a scarlet red, pierced me and silenced the snarl that I could feel building in my throat. As red as they were, they were immensely old and wise. I cleared my throat before speaking. "That is not my choice to make. I am not our leader and this affects my whole tribe."

The old man bowed his head before he spoke. "Then, by all means, please, confer with your tribe. All I wish is that my friends gain safe passage and that my own ending is swift." I looked at him incredulously; did he actually ask to be killed? Well, that would be a good time for the young pups, if Sam let them participate that is. Behind his back the rest of the group shifted around, as if they felt trapped by the water surrounding them, anxious about what would happen.

I asked him if this was his intent, and he began to laugh. "Yes, I wish for you to kill me. I had no choice in being turned, but now I do have a choice in dying.

"My last human memory is holding hands with my wife, who had just drawn her last breath. I was expecting to follow her in a few struggled breaths myself. I was satisfied to see that my Mary had not gone to hell with me, because with all the fire, where else could I be?" His fingers slowly traced the ring on his left hand as his eyes grew distant for a second and his features filled with happiness, joy, pain and longing, all at the same time. I was surprised that a leech could show such loving emotion, this was more than I'd ever seen from Esme.

"When I woke up, Junior here was keeping watch over me, soothing me with his voice before I was able to hear any actual sounds. The vampire who created me, he thought it was..." the man looked incredibly pained "... fun. Apparently he created newborns because they were more 'fun' to hunt than humans." There was a shiver running through the group behind him, they all reacted to every word he said.

"But over the last year he started getting sloppy. Junior was the first to escape. Laura was the next after me, and we decided it had to come to an end. When he came for her, the five us set a trap. He won't be making anymore vampires." For the first time his eyes turned hard, a stern tone added to his last words.

"None of these vampires," he swept his hand, motioning to those behind him, "have fed on humans. We were created in the outback, where the only prey was animals. I hope that will be good enough for you to let them live." he gave me one last pleading glance before turning his back on me an rejoining with his 'children'. As soon as he was in the middle of the group the snapping and hissing started all over, and this time he let them have it all out.

After Leah's phone call to Sam, it was decided that we would escort the herd to the Cullens', while Embry and Paul finished off the old one according to his wish. Before we left the beach, the old one hugged each leech tightly, whispering something in each and everyone's ear. He then turned to me once more.

"You may not lead this group of protectors, but if I were you, I wouldn't be surprised to see myself in that position soon." The moonlight played over his bald head, which shone like it had been waxed. I just shrugged at his words, I knew that day would come. Sam would not live without Emily, not even for a day. When she eventually died, so would he.

I was the last to leave the shore, and just before I entered the woods he called me back. "Wait." his eyes were gentle, and I wondered if he had changed his mind after all. "I thank you for this. As fond as I am of those I have come to call my 'children', I am very glad that none of them will be at my side when this comes to an end. Your brothers have promised to make it as swift as they can, apparently I will not feel anything after my head comes off. Please, and I know it goes against your nature to do it, please, keep the children safe. Thank you."

At the last sentence he gently took my hand in his. I was astonished that it did not bother me, ice cold as he was. Then he released it and walked back to the waterline where a fire had started to burn joyfully. Casting one last look at where the others had disappeared into the woods, he nodded to Paul, "I am ready when you are." He closed his eyes and turned his face against the full moon.

I felt sad for his destiny, not the one we gave him, but the first one. As much as I despised these creatures, I could not think of him as a leech any more than I could refer to Esme as a bloodsucker.

He never told us his name. Regardless, he was a great man.

--

**AN:** You know, this story have been favorited more times than it has been reviewd *hint hint* You guys are awesome! Thank you for all the exitement you send, it makes it fun to write. And, as this chapter proves, your reviews/questions/suggestions can affect how I write the story. There wasn't suppose to be a reader/newborn meeting at all.


	4. south, way south

**Authors Note:** All thing Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just make them do foolish things. Everyone, sorry if it takes a while in between updates, but **I will NEVER abandon my stories!!! EVER!** So, that said... Thank you for all the reviews!!! They make me all fuzzy and warm! You beat even my own personal space heater!!!

**beta: Lacrema **  
--

**Chapter 4**

**Jacob**

I merely nodded at Sam as I entered the crypt and immediately turned up the stairs. He was the Alpha, after all, this was his mess to deal with. Esme was waiting for me at the top of the stairs and I smiled at her. I thought it was kind of cute, the way Carlisle always sent her out of the way when there was a possible threat. She didn't say anything, just scowled at me, tilting her head towards the clock.

HOLY COW! Eleven PM? SHIT crap LEECHES!!!

I was supposed to meet Nessie at seven. I hurried as much as I could into Nessie's room, since my clothes hung on her door. As I snatched them off the hanger the sickly sweet reek grew stronger again.

"You know, a shower wouldn't hurt... And as late as you already are, the least you can do for her is to smell as little as a filthy mutt as you possibly can." Blondie was shooting daggers with her eyes as she spoke.

"Would you give me a break? I'm late because your little family attracts others of your kind." I glared back at her, knowing it would do no good, I just couldn't help myself. I tried to beat her to the punchline as she opened her mouth when that dreamy voice echoed in my head again, and from Blondie's expression, she heard it too.

"Mr... Shape-shifter. I was under the... impression... that you were in a... rush? Why this bickering?" The question, though soft spoken, sounded annoyed to me. I guess they wanted to get rid of me, to discuss whatever they came here to talk about. With one last growl at Blondie, I slammed the door in her face. I heard her snarl as she stomped away. I snickered at the thought, a stomping vampire? I must have really pissed her off this time. I choked on my glee when I realized she wasn't upset about my words, but by the fact that Nessie was alone, waiting for me.

I stripped out of my clothes and walked around Nessie's bed to the bathroom. As I opened its door, her scent overwhelmed me. This was the one place the others never used; they had no physical need for it. The peculiar mix that was the essence of her lingered around me as the water washed the forest off of my skin. The only soap I found was hers,and it smelled like summer blossoms. Well, I guess I could live with smelling like a girl for one night. As I soaped up I grumbled to myself over the size of the shower, one would think they'd be able to afford a decently large shower, but no, this was even smaller than the one at dad's place.

Once clean, I stepped out and started looking for a towel that wasn't Nessie-sized. I scowled when I found a huge one, smelling like _a human_. Who had been here? Showering? Before I had time to fume more over the fact that some male had used her things, there was a sharp rap on the door.

"Jacob? It's Edward. Before you get yourself started, Charlie borrowed that towel last time he was here. Speaking of whom, Charlie's here. We have a problem, come down as soon as you're dressed."

There was distress in his voice, so I didn't bother with the suit laying thrown over the bed, and instead pulled on a pair of sweats (they'd originally been mine, I'd been looking for them) before I darted downstairs.

Charlie was still standing in the doorway, in his "Chief Swan" stance. I didn't have to voice my question before Edward answered it for me.

"The dance ended half an hour ago. Charlie saw everybody leave and decided to check up on her. She wasn't there. We haven't got a clue where she is." His expression became more and more pained as he spoke,until he wore a worried face I hadn't seen since before Nessie was born and Bella turned into a vampire. "Bella is already on her way, until she's gone far enough, I won't be able to find Nessie's thoughts. The best we can do now is wait." With a frustrated sigh, he collapsed on the couch.

I tried to wrap my head around this, why was he behaving like this? Since when was he not prepared to fight for his family? And where were Sam and the newborns? Edward looked up at me.

"Sam is taking Marlon's children to Tanya's family in Alaska, and as for your other question..." He once again sighed deeply – really, what's with that, it's not like he needs the air? "...Alice had a vision..."

**Nessie**

As fun as the ride to the beach had been, I was relieved to be out of the car and away from Hank. He hadn't raised his eyes for the extent of the ride, I was getting weary of it. The beach was nowhere as nice as any of the ones around Forks or La Push, but there was a bonfire sparkling already and I was eager to get down there.

I stayed close to Christine and Hollie as the boys took a venture into the woods. At first I tried to walk across the sand in my heels, butI kept tripping. Christine giggled as she reached out to steady me.

"Take of the shoes, silly, you'll ruin them. Also, high heels and high 'spirits' don't make a good match." She wiggled her eyebrows like crazy at me and wrapped her arm around my waist "You might end up in the ER, and we wouldn't want that, now would we?"

Hollie laid her arm around my shoulder and together the three of us stumbled into the ring of logs placed as benches around the built up fire. We chose the one closest to the water, where we could see everyone without them noticing us. I picked up the last one of Jacob's bottles. W ell, since I kind of liked the content, I guess they were my bottles now. I shook the thin bag with a sigh, folded it into a tiny square and placed it in the cell-pocket of my purse.

The guy who drove us here, Jimmy, saw my gesture and smiled at me. "Hey girl, don't worry. The boys will be back with more stuff in a little while." He seemed very friendly.

"What stuff?" I must have asked something stupid, because the girls started giggling around me, and to my own surprise, I heard myself join them.

"Booze Baby, alcohol..." He had a hard time speaking, he was laughing so hard. I didn't care, I was already folded double, fighting for my breath between the giggles.

Cam and the rest of the girls from the dance arrived just before we started hearing rummaging coming from the trees. There was still a good five minutes before we saw the guys emerging, each carrying a few baskets filled with bottles. Hank started running his eyes all over my body again. That felt so wrong. Lucky for me, I sat in the midst of a group already, closely surrounded by Christine, Hollie, Cam and Gabby. The last one let her hair fall down to shield our faces from the boys as she spoke to me.

"Don't worry, see that girl over there?" She pointed discreetly at a girl who came walking towards us, gliding over the sand, still in her very high heeled stiletto boots.

"Wow. Is she even a teenager?" Seriously, she looked like she was 25, at least. Her top was so tight I wondered if she could breathe at all, and her skirt-- correction, belt-- was so short I didn't even dare look at her, afraid to find out what kind of underwear she might (or might not) be wearing.

"Jeanie is still a junior, but her sister is a make-up artist and her mom owns Seattle's coolest dress-shop, hands down. And, her dad is filthy, filthy rich. He hasn't visited them since the divorce, but gives them everything they haven't even wished for yet." Her voice was poisonous and I saw her keeping an eye on Cam out of the corner of her eye. Cam's back was straight and stiff, she held her eyes to the ground.

I lowered my voice to a whisper before I answered. "Is there something between Cam and Hank?"

Gabby eyed Cam to see if she heard me before answering. "No, not really. He's a sweetheart from time to time, and while he and Jeanie had a rough turn, Cam picked up the pieces. We all told her to stay away from him, he drops anyone and everything to be at her beck and call. Of course, he dumped Cam as soon as Jeanie even hinted he might get another chance."

I wondered how I had shared school with them all these years and never noticed this Jeanie person who now entered the light, shaking her bleached-blond hair, only to be welcomed by all the boys. An indistinguishable number of cheers arose as she settled herself down in their midst.

I turned back to the natural blond at my side. "How have I never seen her before? I might be out of the loop, but _her _I would remember."

"Home-schooled."

I had to hold my self from scolding her when she rolled her eyes and made a face as she said it. I was home-schooled...

But even as the talk turned to more joyous matters, there was a damper on the mood, at least on the girls' side of the fire. I felt my buzz wearing off, and realized I was really getting sick of them. I was getting sick of myself, sitting here, gossiping about people I hardly even remembered seeing.

It was getting late now, the sun had set hours ago, and there was still no sign of Jacob. I just wanted to go home. Go home to my childhood, when things were easy to deal with, when there were no one interfering with my time with Jacob. I caught Christine's attention, and when I waved at her she stumbled over to my side.

"You-- hic-- leaving?" she drawled. "Why? Not becaush of that Jashob douche?" I could barely make out her words, she was really drunk. I hugged her tightly, speaking as I did, so she wouldn't see the lie in my eyes.

"No, absolutely not. But I feel really funny, this is my first real buzz, as I told you. I think I need to go lay down, I think I might be getting... sick."

She hugged me back, and slurred on, spitting a little as she spoke. "Schould I fow...folw...follow you...?" Standing on her own again, she was fighting to keep steady.

"No need, I'll be fine. Go on and have fun, party some for me too, would you?"

She smiled at me and turned back to the rest of the group, and I took my chance to walk away. I kept my shoes off even after I left the sand, trying to make tracks for Jacob, still. Every building I passed, I touched, every cross-way I marked. As I came up to the low porch around the back of the hotel I let my hand slide along the rail, all the way to the staircase. When I came to the door with my, our, number, I made sure to touch every inch of it before closing it behind me. I left it unlocked and the security chain off, he was bound to come looking for me soon.

I laid down on the bed, burying my head in the soft pillows.

...

I stirred to life slowly as the door opened. Jacob! He was finally here! Sleepy as I was, I still noticed that something was very off with his scent. He reeked of something icky-sweet, and he smelled of smoke. My head was very fuzzy, everything seemed like it was sliding at an angle before my eyes. I couldn't be sure, but wasn't the silhouette in the doorway a bit small? And why wasn't he alone? The guys standing outside were lit up by the ceiling lights, and even in my current state I could tell they were not from the tribe-- Caucasian, every single one of them.

I tried to sit up, but my head started to spin and I fell back down. Now the big (but still too small) shape stepped into the light of the bedside lamp. Hank. His eyes were crazy, pupils so dilated I could hardly detect anything but black and white. I was getting dizzy from the room spinning around me, and closed my eyes, hoping this was just a bad dream. Then I heard his voice, but not clearly, it sounded like I had cotton in my ears.

"Well, look what we have here... little Miss Tease, all laid out on the bed for us. Come on in, boys!" I felt hands touching my body, but when I opened my eyes, the world was spinning so violently I had to close them again. The numbers of hands became to many to count, I had no idea if there were a hundred of them, or just one. I shivered with fear as his voice sounded again. "This'll teach you to go rubbing yourself against a guy for an entire car-ride and then just leave him hanging. Hiding with the girls, giggling and all. You shouldn't play games if you're not prepared to take the consequences... Hold her down guys, she's rocking too hard..."

JACOB! WHERE ARE YOU! I felt the panic washing over me, I had no control of either my arms or legs. I tried to scream, but I couldn't find my voice, my throat was cramped tight.

The hands were more violent now, pinning me to the mattress. I felt my arm being stretched out, and suddenly something, it felt like a needle, stung me.


	5. cease to exist

**Authors Note:** All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer! I just get the characters into trouble! So, I am sorry for the mess I left you all in... I know it was a cliffy, and a mean one at that (totally planned), but I hope you will forgive me in the end. A tip for those of you reviewing anonymously, I cannot answer your questions, just so you know... I will not make my AN's Q/A sessions... If you want answers, I need a link or e-mail. However, one thing many of you addressed though, her strength... Remember what she says in the first chapter? She's been loosing speed and strength since she got her... female-monthly-issue...  
I hope you like how this goes, enjoy!

**beta: Lacrema**  
--

**Chapter 5**

**Jacob**

I was rolled up in her bed, waiting for news. Alice sent me here, because my never ending pacing between the back windows, the kitchen windows, the hallway widows and back again was unnerving to them. I suppose my thoughts hadn't helped lift Edward's mood, either. I had made sure he knew exactly how much I blamed him for this situation. He let my Nessie go there alone. He didn't even stick around to see if I would make it in time. Why didn't he contact the pack before they left home? I knew Emmett and Jasper had been fighting over escorting her, and I mean that literally; we came across them one day in the woods. I felt so guilty, once again I had abandoned her on a very important night. Only, this time I hadn't made it there in time to make up for it.

I had tried to make Edward react, to do something. This vegetated state of looking pained was unnatural, even for him. He still refused to tell me what Alice's vision had been. Trying to distract myself from my agonizing, I dug up my favorite Nessie memory from the depths where I had hid it. It wasn't an actual memory, but that old dream I had had that night in the beach cave. Edward raised his head, hissing at me, eyes burning with hatred. But before he could even move, Alice was by my side, blocking Edward from my view.

"Don't. I did not go out into the woods to have werewolf-free visions to come across the fact that Bella just vanished. That can only mean one thing. That you're about to do something stupid. Stop torturing my brother and just go somewhere, anywhere." She was furious with me. I wondered what she imagined would happen to make Bella disappear.

"And where do you propose I go? I'm not leaving. If there's any word, I need to be here!"

She rolled her eyes at me, grumbling something under her breath. Probably some profanity since it made Rosalie giggle loudly. "Well, fine. Go to her room then. It's the one furthest away, that might hush your presence a little." A softer shift came about her face and she leaned in, whispering so low in my ear I could hardly hear it. "I don't know if it helps, but she usually rolls up in bed, burying her face in something that smells like you when she misses you really badly. If you ever tell her I told you, not even the pack will be able to save your sorry furry behind."

So, that's what I did. I dragged myself up the stairs, rolled myself up in the huge bed and dug my face into her pillow, hugging it like I did my teddy-bear as a child. _Nessie... where are you?_

_---_

I didn't know how long I had been moping when I made up my mind. She might have left the party, but there had to be something there that told me in what direction she had gone. Someone had to have seen her. And if not, at least I would feel better once I was doing something.

I had no interest in speaking with the mopey vampire again, so I just opened the window and jumped out. The three story drop was no problem for me, and I was off running as soon as I touched the ground.

Even running at the top of my werewolf capacity, it took me almost half an hour to reach the city hall. Well, I guess it would have gone faster if I hadn't needed to phase back. Sam would freak if I walked into the town as a wolf. Not that it would hurt the tribe (after all, this wasn't Forks), but it was still unnecessary. If we had managed to conceal our presence throughout Nessie's school years, why ruin it now?

I detected a faint, very faint whiff of her scent as I stood in the arc outside the double doors, pounding them with my fist. I wasn't sure there was anyone still there, but I had to try. I heard someone moving around inside, and pounded harder. The wood cringed under my fists, complaining about the treatment. I didn't care.

A small, squared hatch opened at the height of my chest. I found myself looking down on a small Mexican boy. He was even shorter than Nessie. He seemed startled by my appearance.

"Y-yes?"

"I wonder if you remember this girl leaving the party?" I showed him the picture of Nessie I kept in the pendant around my neck. For once, I was happy I wore it. I had to take it off when I phased, the chain would rip otherwise. Believe me, I had first hand experience, I kept forgetting to remove it in the beginning. She got so mad at me! She had picked it out herself, and bought it with her own money. I smirked as I thought about how she had convinced Sam and Emily, not to mention Rachel and Paul, to let her babysit their children.

"Maybe, what's it to you?" I startled as he spoke, lost in memories as I was. He seemed nervous, shifting his eyes.

"Well... I was suppose to be her date, but I got delayed, and now nobody knows where she is. She left her cell at home."I tried to sound friendly, even though all I wanted to do was scream at him at the top of my lungs.

The boy seemed to relax a little, but stiffened when a rustling sound came from behind him. He looked back at me. "What's your name?"

"Jacob. Why?" I heard the soft footfall of bare feet walking towards us.

"I believe this is yours, then." He threw a piece of paper at me and slammed the tiny door shut, just before those feet turned the corner. I allowed myself a smug little smile as I noticed her fragrance on the paper, and heard the soft murmur of a female voice from inside.

I unfolded the note, carefully, with hands shaking so badly from excitement that I almost dropped it.

_the hotel beach, party, come find me  
love you_

_Ness_

Ness?... _Ness_? Come on, what was this, a joke? She had never called herself that before.

Wait, _love me_? _LOVE? ME? _My heart soared at the thought. Not that I didn't know she did, but that she finally was ready to tell me that she did. I had been her boyfriend for three years now, and she still had not been able to say it. Neither had I, but I was determined to wait to lay the full burden of my love on her until she was ready for it. Maybe now she finally was.

I looked down at the note again. The hotel beach? What beach? This town was nowhere near water. I turned around and rapped the door violently again. It didn't take long for the hatch to open, and the boy looked very annoyed.

"What now?"

"Where is the hotel beach?" I received an eye-roll as he tried to close the hatch.

I placed my hand in the way and growled as I spoke. "Where. Is. This. Beach?" I felt no pity for him as his face turned pale white with fear.

"T-th-the clo-closest ho-hotel is fif-fifteen miles up the co-coast. N-not in the t-town, out-outside it..."

I started running before he finished his stuttering statement. That was why Edward couldn't hear her. This town was within his reach, but he couldn't do even three miles beyond it, not even with someone he was as attuned to as Nessie.

I was two steps outside of town when I phased and started running towards the coastal town. I knew the hotel, Sam and Emily had their wedding reception there. Nessie had been too young to come, and of the Leeches, only Carlisle and Esme were invited. It was far out in the wilderness. It had been the perfect place for werewolves to party, but I shuddered at the thought of my Nessie alone in those woods. OK, maybe not alone as in alone, but as in without me. I wanted to spend this night with her, telling her everything. I had told her I had something important to talk to her about-- why would she go to a party then? Why didn't she wait for me? I wasn't really worried about my girl, she could take care of herself, she was half vampire, after all. She even had weekly wrestling sessions with Emmett and Jasper (oh god, did I just call those leeches by name again? I gotta get a grip), and I guess they were drilling her harder than ever, because she had begun complaining about losing all the time.

I didn't bother phasing back. When I reached the shore, it was deserted. I had a hard time defining her scent, there were so many, and there was alcohol splattered everywhere, burning my nose.

I had been scanning the sand for traces of her for I don't know how long, when I started to become aware of my surroundings again. There was a police siren shouting close by. When I looked over at the hotel buildings, I saw the flashing blue and red lights that only police cars and ambulances produced. OK, firetrucks had them, too, but even I could see there was no fire.

I phased back, pulled the now dirty sweats back on and walked towards the light, fiddling with the tiny clasp on my necklace. When the sandy beach ended and the dust-road started, her smell blossomed up against me. It wasn't stronger than before, but the others were less potent. I guessed that Nessie had walked barefoot and the others had put their shoes back on. For a second I debated with myself whether I should keep following her scent or just go ask the cops if they had seen her. I chose the first option, but they seemed to come down to one and the same, as her scent lead me right to them. Her track continued beyond the police tape, so I stopped, unsure how to proceed.

I looked over the long, angled two-story hotel's wings. It looked like you reached the upper rooms from the porch trailing along the backside via an open staircase. The police and ambulance personnel all seemed to be hovering around an open door in the middle of the second floor. I wasn't the only one standing there looking, it seemed like every guest in the hotel was outside. I scanned the crowd, wondering if she would still be here. Maybe she was right on the other side of the yard, blocked from my view by the ambulance?

A wailing began, muffled, sounding like a wounded animal. They guy next to me covered his ears quickly, as did most of the others. I looked questioningly at him, and he shouted, still covering his ears, "They're bringing out another one. That's five so far. I wonder how many more there can be? This one might not be screaming so loud now, but it seems to really set them off when they see the blue lights. Cover up your ears! Here they come." He turned his eyes back to the door, where the people where shifting to let out the paramedics, who were carrying a gurney. Strapped to it was a boy, maybe seventeen or eighteen, who was writhing, fighting the restraints. The wailing grew stronger and higher in pitch as they came down the stairs. When the lights flashed over them, all hell broke loose, and the boy started to scream, really scream. I, too, had to cover my ears.

As the ambulance doors were shut, the sound subsided, and behind them I now saw Charlie's cruiser. Why was he here? This was way out of his district. I ducked under the plastic band and walked up to the first police man who approached me.

"Why is Chief Swan here?" I pointed at the cruiser as I spoke.

"He came with Dr Cullen, and lucky it was. We needed all the help we could get. Are you Jacob?" He looked me up and down, almost as if he was measuring me.

How did he know my name? "Yes? But..."

He interrupted me before I could ask anything, "Good. They said you were on your way. We're unable to move the last one."

"Last one of what?" I was really getting annoyed by this.

"The junkies. It seems like a drug-party went south, way south. People in the surrounding rooms called it in. They thought someone was being tortured to death. When we arrived they had all collapsed, spread all over the room in the same state as the last one we brought out."

He followed me up the stairs as he spoke. Once upstairs, we were met by another officer, who took over. He left me at the door and stepped back, followed by all the cops and emergency workers leaving the room. Last out was Charlie. He stopped beside me, sorrow scourging his face.

"Thank heavens you're here. Good luck... and Jake? I'm truly sorry for what you'll see in there."

For the first time it clicked, why Charlie and Carlisle would be here. _Nessie_. Nessie was here, in this very room. In trouble.

I hesitated for only a second before turning around the door frame to face the room. I felt like I was moving through concrete. I was sure she was dead. I could feel nothing from the room. I usually could sense her presence at this distance. I prepared for whatever sight I might get, knowing that if she were no more, then I would cease to exist, too. I did not intend to live without her.

What I saw was way past my worst nightmares. She was sprawled on the bed, her body barely covered by the green shreds that were the remainder of her dress. She was shivering slightly, but no sound escaped her lips. There was blood everywhere in the room. I noticed a single drop hanging on the edge of her eyelashes. Of her face, only her forehead and eyelids were sprayed with the blood, and some of it was undoubtedly hers.


	6. holding her

**Authors Note:** All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just make them mental. I am so, so sorry that it took me so long to update! Thank you for all the reviews, I know you've all been worried sick about her. I hope that this chapter give you some answers to your questions.

**beta: Lacrema**  
--

**Chapter 6**

**Jacob**

My eyes ached just from the sight of her. Her precious body, crumpled on the bed. WHY? What had they done to her? How bad was it? I felt like a creep when I saw her underwear, very visible through the shredded fabric. I let out a deep sigh of relief when I saw that they were still intact. I let my eyes wander over her body, examining every bruise, noting every scrape, as I stumbled closer.

Her chest was moving, but very slowly. She was drawing very shallow breaths. I had failed in protecting her, as I once failed to protect her mother. They both were their own worst enemies, it just manifested itself in different ways.

I briefly wondered how I could remain this calm as I seated myself on the bed beside her. I caught a glimpse of Carlisle beside the bed, packing up his med-kit, as I reached for her. When I pulled her up in my lap I was overwhelmed by the images, feelings, fear and screams she thrust at me.

_JACOB!!! there were hands on my body. There couldn't be hands on my body. JACOB!!! Panic. I can't move, why can't I move? JACOB!!! HELP! Get off off me. Panic...panic... JACOB!!! THERE ARE HANDS ON ME!! warm hands...very warm hands... Jacob?_

I had a hard time finding my voice as her panic washed over me, but her voice was getting more and more distressed.

"Yes, Nessie. I'm here." I spoke into her hair as I held her close to me and I felt the panic subside. _You're here, Jacob's here, finally here...safe... _"I'm here, and I'll never leave you again, OK?"

She didn't answer me this time and although I wasn't really sure why, I was sure that she was alive, my Nessie was alive, breathing, and for all I could tell, unharmed, except for the gash on her left arm, right in the crease where the arm bends, and what looked like claw marks from nails. Maybe she was not so unharmed after all.

A door opened behind me and Edward stepped out of the bathroom. I gave him a furious glare, what had he been doing in there when his daughter was out here, needing him?

"No Jacob, she didn't need me, she needed _you_! If you haven't noticed, she is projecting without touching you with her hands." I looked down and realized he was right. Her hands were still sprawled to the sides, like there was no tension in her body at all, but her emotions were very present inside of me.

"You felt a little of what we all endured for the last hour. I couldn't come close to her. Carlisle tried, but once he touched her she was re-firing on all cylinders, the hysteria getting even worse. She seems to connect with the ones who have touched her. For the boys attacking her it meant that they returned to their drug-haze when they were carried far enough. Having Nessie in one's head is not easy. I doubt they will ever be able to leave the hospital." Edwards words were cold, clinical even, without even a hint of malice. They triggered my fury even more.

"They deserve to die," I growled. They had done... _this _to my beloved Nessie. I wasn't sure exactly what they had done to her, but she didn't get into this state all by her self, that much I knew. There was no compassion in my body for them. None.

"Do. Not. Mistake. My. Words. As. Compassion! Ever!" the snarl Edward let out was filled with a fury that almost matched my own.

I turned to glare at Carlisle. "You touched her, why are you still sane? Why didn't you help her?" I cast out the accusations as I hugged Nessie closer to me. I felt her quivering at the touch of my skin and then felt her relax further as my heat broke through the barrier of her skin.

"I am a vampire, my mind is not as fragile as a human's," Carlisle replied. "And my hands are colder, she could distinguish me from them. She just wouldn't let me come near her. And I could see from here that she is unharmed physically. How she is mentally I will not be able to judge until she revives." He sounded very tired, and there were lines in his face that I had never seen before in the faces of any of the Cullen family.

"And you," he sat down at the end of the bed, looking from me to her and back again, "are sane because you did not get a full blast. She relaxed a little with every step you took from that door until you touched her. I don't know this, but I'm guessing you would have stayed sane even through the worst of it." His voice sounded ancient, old and withered.

"Why is that? Because I'm a werewolf and my mind is not as fragile as a human's?" I had a mocking tone as I echoed his previous statement. I was getting really tired of all this fumbling around, never getting to the point.

There was a deep sigh coming from Edward this time. I looked over at him, he once again had that pained expression in his face, and he scowled at me as he answered my question. "No, because you and her are made for each other. You are her perfect match, and vice versa. I doubt that anything the two of you are capable of, phasing-rage aside, could hurt the other. You do remember that she is imprinted on you as well?" How could I ever forget?

I stretched out my body on the bed, still holding my precious imprint close, making sure that she was touching as much of my skin as possible. This time there was no fear at the touch, just a slight glint of annoyance at my constantly moving her. I felt relief rush through me. If she could be annoyed there couldn't be anything seriously wrong with her, could it? I looked around the room, seeing all the blood everywhere, and wondered how Edward managed it. He wasn't Carlisle, after all.

"It reeks of synthetic substances. It holds no more appeal to me than moldy food would do to you. I could eat it, but it would leave a bad taste in my mouth. It is not something I would touch unless it was my last option." His voice was dripping with disgust.

I stroked my hands over Nessie's bloodstained hair, crying inside for what she endured. "Why didn't you tell me? This had to be what Alice saw in her vision, right?"

"Yes and no. She saw us find Nessie dead in the woods." I flinched at his words. He looked nauseated. "Dead and looking like this. We figured that the only thing that could cause this was you phasing and hurting her, that's why we didn't tell you. We hoped that as long as you were in the house nothing would happen." I glared at him again; how could he be so stupid as to think I would ever, EVER, lose control like that while I was close to Nessie?

"I'm sorry, I should have known better. The call for Carlisle came just after we noticed that you had left, and when Esme spoke the name of the hotel Alice's barriers fell." OK, now I was confused, what barriers? I tried to make the question clear, but couldn't find any words.

"That's OK, you think and I'll speak. It seems like little Miss Cullen over there had some plans she went to great lengths to keep from me." OK... still confused... I couldn't make out why he had a bit of a smile on his face either.

"Involving you and this hotel room..." A light switched on in my brain. OH! That wouldn't work, there was the command... Edwards smirk pulled a little higher as he read my reaction. Then his eyes turned hard again.

"She's out of high school, Jacob. Anyway, Alice went along with it because she saw us all being very happy the next day, while trying to decide who was going to calm Nessie down. She can't see Nessie very clearly, as you know, but she has started to get fairly good shots at our doings around her ever since Nessie had her first..." He stopped speaking and looked utterly uncomfortable. I guess periods had only been a grammar issue back when he was created. "We knew you were planning to tell her about the imprint and all."

I nodded, urging him on in the story.

"So, when Alice heard where Chief Swan told Carlisle to go, she saw him finding Nessie in this room, lost to the world, perfectly visible." Strange, why was she visible if she's still alive?

"She wasn't very far from dying until you entered the room. She wasn't breathing, she wasn't thinking." The memory seemed to cause him a lot of pain, it was only a faint reflection of the burning man I had once formed an alliance with, but I could only guess how he must have felt finding her like this. "We have a theory that she was slowly going into a hibernation state, only to come around when the right trigger was offered. You." I held her a little closer, making sure I was touching her as much as possible, as Edward continued. "I have never in my existence been more relieved to touch your mind or feel your smell getting closer. I could not even make it to the bathroom door, I had no idea of how to handle her." I finally found my voice, my throat felt raw as I spoke.

"So, what now?"

"Well, if you can carry her down to Charlie's cruiser that would be a good option. We need to get her out of here. Both Carlisle and myself ran here, I was here first and Carlisle arrived at the same time as as Chief Swan. Bella is still somewhere far off. She forgot her phone in the rush to leave so I could hear Nessie. She doesn't know anything yet."

I shifted away from the girl in my arms, swinging my legs over the bed, and her hands came up, clutching me wherever they could get a hold.

_NO! Don't leave me! Jacob! Don't leave!_

I pulled her up in my lap and spoke softly in her ear. "I'm not going anywhere if you're not with me, okay? See, you're still in my arms, I just have to move so I can get you out of this place, get you back home." As I mentioned home, a perfect picture of my house flowed into my mind.

"No, Nessie. Your home, either the cabin or the mansion." _NO!_ The picture of my very own bedroom grew stronger. I looked helplessly at her father.

"If that's what she wants." He shrugged "We'll still be there. I'll call Sam as I run to make sure he knows we're coming in. Just out of courtesy, of course."

I lifted Nessie easily, she weighed little more than a well-packed bag, and started toward the door. Carlisle held the door for me as we exited into the chilly night. I wished I had brought something to cover her with, not for the cold, but I had forgotten all the people standing around, staring at the door. I had barely finished the thought when a cold hand placed a blanket over my shoulder and I eased it down to cover Nessie's bared body, while Edward kept out of sight. Of course. Not one of the bystanders saw him come, so no one could see him leave.


	7. strange sleeping arrangements

**Authors Note:** All things Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, the creator of sparkling vampires and hot shapeshifters. **Thank you** for all the reviews, they mean a lot. They are what inspire me to write more, what makes it all worth it. I guess this will never be the most reviewed story here, but I don't care, **I have the best reviewers** ;)

**beta: Lacrema**  
--

**Chapter 7  
**

**Jacob**

I was in the backseat of Charlie's cruiser, holding my beloved and damaged Nessie in my arms. I hadn't even tried to put her down beside me. Considering the reaction she had when I was getting out of the bed earlier, I figured I'd better just hold on to her.

Charlie didn't ask me a single question during the silent ride back to Forks. He had the blue lights on, but not the siren. I wondered what was going through his mind, seeing his granddaughter like this. I had felt Nessie's stubbornness and was fairly sure she would eventually be alright, but he had no way of knowing. He hadn't even raised an eyebrow when instructed to take us to La Push and my house.

I wonder if he placed it in the 'need to know' category. It had to be quite filled by now, with Nessie growing at the speed she did, me not growing at all, Bella sparkling in the sun, the fact that anywhere he went which involved a Cullen they arrived before him without ever bringing a car. Sue had offered to tell him everything, but he had been adamant that he did not want to know more than was necessary. He said that he wanted to be able to sleep at night, and as long as his family was safe, he didn't care.

I envied him. I kept worrying about Nessie whenever I fell asleep. But to this day, my biggest fear had been IVA, the Italian Vampire Army. That was something that had actually made Edward laugh out loud the first time I thought it, and so I kept using it. It felt less scary than _the Volturi_. I had never been able to fathom that she would mess things up herself so thoroughly. I kissed the top of her precious head, only to receive a throat-clearing and disapproving glare from the front seat.

There was a sudden sound from the intercom. A bored female voice spoke through the disturbance. "_Chief Swan? Your daughter was intercepted at the Canadian Border."_

"Good."

"_She was informed that her daughter had been found and told to return home.__"_

"Thank you, operator."

"_No problem Chief Swan__...__and Charlie? Everyone here at the station __has__ your granddaughter in their prayers. Just wanted to let you know. Good luck. Over and out."_

The silence after the radio disturbance felt pressuring. I held Nessie even tighter in my arms until she transmitted a little image of having trouble breathing. I relaxed a little, trying to make her feel more comfortable, but she told me no more.

---

When we arrived at my house, Edward stood outside with Emmett and Jasper. It must have taken a great toll on Sam's pride to have to let all these bloodsuckers into the reservation. When I stepped out with Nessie in my arms, I saw just how much it must have bothered him. Across the lawn was just about every wolf in La Push. The entire pack was pushing 50 members at the moment, and I was fairly sure that everyone not on patrol had been ordered here. Of course, Sam wasn't present. I hated the way he kept avoiding getting his paws dirty when work needed to be done.

I was amazed at how calm Charlie was about the situation, it looked like a college party gone mad. Everywhere were muscular, half-naked bodies, both male and female, scattered amongst giant wolves of all possible colors. Embry's baby sister, who had been the last one to phase just a few weeks ago, was still very shy, and was the only one of the girls wearing more than a bikini.

Carlisle arrived as I started walking up to the house, having taken the way by their mansion to leave a note for Bella and gather some more medical supplies. There was a very unnatural silence lingering in the air, especially considering the forty-something usually exuberant shapeshifters surrounding us. As I came up to Quil, I stopped and shifted Nessie a little in my arms before speaking.

"So... You all camping here tonight?"

"Yeah. All the leeches are here, so Sam's taking no chances. We'll stay as long as they do. A constant five to one." He looked down at the bundled up girl in my arms and then up at me with sorrow in his eyes. "Will she be OK?"

I sighed "They," I tilted my head towards Edward and Carlisle who were right behind me, "don't know yet. No way to be sure until she wakes up."

Quil grabbed my shoulder and gave me an awkward half-hug before he stepped back and opened the door, holding it open for me. As I passed him he leaned forward and whispered very silently in my ear. "We'll stay outside. Beware of the blond leech, she's murderous right now."

I could guess. Blondie always was when it came to Nessie. I carried her straight up to the bedroom and laid her down on the bed. A very vibrant feeling of peace emitted from her and she did not stir as I slowly detangled myself from her so that Carlisle could examine her. She gave no sign of noticing that he touched her, not even through the hand I was holding.

I cringed as he slowly cut off the few strands of fabric that held the shredded dress to her body. I turned away, deciding to dig through my closet for something she could wear when Carlisle was done. Edward came to stand beside me, holding the piles of neatly stacked clothes that I lifted out. I had no idea how that had happened, when I had gotten dressed this morning everything was a mess, as usual. Edward chuckled and I growled at him.

"Carlisle is done with the exam. She's fine. The syringe that scraped her arm never was able to release its content, and the claw marks she made herself when she panicked. That was when she destroyed the dress. The bruises were probably caused by the boys collapsing on her."

I let out another growl. "Don't. Call. Them. Boys." I threw my anger at him mentally, knowing he would not be able to deflect it. "They are no better than leeches. They are _worse_ than leeches."

He snarled at me, "I agree completely, but they have already been punished for their crime. There isn't a way to make them suffer more than she already did. If even one of them ever becomes sane again, I doubt he will ever dare look at a girl again." He kept his voice clinical again, and I eased off on my mental accusations.

"Thank you. And about the closets," a smug smile crossed his face swiftly, "Alice folds clothes when she's worried. She has sorted your entire wardrobe by garment, color and fabric. You might feel like washing it, she won't mind, she just needed something to do. Rosalie trashed your car, but don't worry. Emmett is making her put it back together again."

I found the clothes that were Nessie's in the bottom drawer of my mom's old bureau. After that fatal dream a few years back, I had made sure there were decent clothes for her to sleep in, should she ever spend the night here again. She had, along with some of the female werewolves. I ended up going over to Embry's to sleep, they giggled so much. I felt a smile break across my face at the memory of her giggling, and it felt very strange. I left the little pile of clothes on the chair by the door as I stepped outside without looking back at her. I had no desire to see her beaten body laying on my bed.

When I had almost closed the door I felt her mind touch mine again. _Don't leave me. Please. _I turned back, speaking through the small opening.

"Don't worry, I'm just going so they can dress you. I'll come back." Edward looked questioningly at me. "Nessie just touched my mind again. How far does this bond go?"

His face brightened. "I couldn't hear that, Bella must be getting close. I didn't realize I couldn't hear you, there are so many loud minds around."

As we reached the bottom of the stairs Alice darted up them, a worried expression distorting her perfect features. Edward's face grew solemn. "Don't go outside. Rosalie just worked herself up telling Bella what happened. She's on her way."

I wasn't sure what to do with myself, so I turned to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator at the same time that someone basically ripped my front door off its hinges.

"WHERE. IS. MY. DAUGHTER?" I had never seen fury like this on my old friend's face. Not even that time I kissed her and she ended up breaking her hand, not even when I nicknamed her daughter Nessie. I took a step back, half hiding behind Jasper, who had remained silent and unnoticed until now. He was looking at her and I felt a calm sensation emitting from him.

"Jasper! GET OFF! I'm warning you! Where is she?!" Bella turned to glare at her husband and apparently lifted her shield, because he, too, took a step back, now standing beside me behind Jasper.

Before any of us were able to find our voices, Carlisle came down the stairs and laid his hand on her shoulder. "Nessie is upstairs. She just woke up. Actually, you woke her with your screaming. She's going crazy thinking you will hurt Jacob. Could you go up there and calm her down enough to let Alice dress her, please?"

Bella let out a final snarl, scowling at us all in turn and then was up the stairs faster than I had ever seen a vampire move.

I turned back to the doctor. "So, you're sure she's alright?" Even I could hear how pleading my voice was.

"As soon as she understood what I needed to know, she blasted me with everything. I have not had time to sort through it yet, but as soon as I do, Edward will know as well. She asked for you; she was freezing again." I tried to understand what he meant, what he wanted me to do about it.

Edward answered my question this time. "As much as I dislike it, I guess the best solution is that you sleep with her tonight." At this, a fearsome growl came from outside, followed by a snarl and howls from the wolves. Edward raised his voice a little before continuing, "Not like that, Rosalie. Stop being silly." He turned back to me again. "So, here is the deal. I will not spend a night in such a confined space with you. You do both reek and snore. However, this does not mean that I won't know exactly everything that is going on up there." I just stared at him, incredulously, did he really think that little of me? She was the most precious thing in my life, she had just gone through the worst night of her life, and he actually believed me capable of having those intentions right now? Jeez, for being so wise he was really incredibly stupid.

"Well, then I'll just ask Blondie to join us if you find me so repulsive. She might detest me more than you do, but she will make sure Nessie is safe." I wasn't looking forward to sleeping with a snarling leech in the room, but what I preferred was not the issue right now. I went to the window and called outside. "Emmett?"

The brawny leech was in front of me the second his name was uttered. "Yeah?" He looked questioningly at me.

"Could you please convince your wife to spend the night with me?" He raised an eyebrow at me. "Not like that, Nessie needs me to sleep with her, and Edward doesn't feel like babysitting."

"I'm in!" I didn't even see her approach before her ice cold voice delivered her decision. Not that I had doubted it. No matter what we thought of each other, the common goal of what was best for Nessie usually made us allies in this kind of situation. "But you better take a shower voluntarily or I'll have Emmett hose you down outside." She climbed in through the window and walked up the stairs. Why didn't she just use the door?

"Because it's clogged with dogs." I jumped a foot in the air as Edward spoke from right behind me."And you really should hurry up with that shower, Nessie is freezing."

I hurried into the bathroom, waving the pack off as I saw them through the broken front door. I scrubbed myself hard, not for Blondie's sake but for Nessie's. If that leech spent all night making gagging sounds her sleep would be disturbed.

Exiting the bathroom, I found myself facing a full-on _scowling_ Bella. Her eyes locked me down and I was unable to look away from her. Her voice was furious and entreating at the same time. "You better behave. You better not treat her like you did me. You hear me Jacob Black? Behave!"

I nodded, and as soon as her gaze released me, I turned up the stairs. Nessie laid in the exact spot I had placed her, not moving a muscle as I entered the room. She was wearing the pajamas I had brought out for her, and it was a relief to not have to see all the damages done to her body.

Blondie was sitting curled up on top of the old bureau, next to the open window. I smirked at her. "No wonder Nessie's freezing if you keep the window open like that..."

"Ha ha, very funny. Still, it is a step up for you-- did you run out of blond jokes?" Outside I noticed that it had started to drizzle and I heard the pack complaining as they all huddled up on the porch. Suddenly the leech reached over and slammed the window shut. I raised a brow questioningly at her as I seated myself on the bed next to my Nessie.

"The reek of one newly-washed, dry werewolf beats the stench of a whole pack of them, out in the rain." She gave me a little smile. "Get into bed, my niece is very cold."

I had to be wrong, but did Blondie's voice carry just the faintest trace of affection? Nah, I was probably just tired. I slipped in under the cover on the left side of the bed (my side) and just watched the beautiful face of the girl who bundled up, snuggling herself at my side without even seeming to notice how this made her aunt react. The low, almost inaudible rumble of her snarl didn't seem to bother Nessie, so I let her be.

Suddenly, under the cover of the blankets, I felt Nessie's hand against my arm. _I missed you. _I smiled at the normalcy of her words and how relaxed she sounded. Her face was still expressionless and betrayed with no part that she was awake. I leaned down and kissed the top of her head, and felt her love as she pictured herself kissing me back. I chuckled silently, hiding my joy in her hair.

"Good night sweets, sleep tight, don't let the leeches bite." I felt her body tense as she stopped the giggle that threatened to escape and her mind was scolding me. _Behave. Don't make them throw you out. Just be silent. You haven't said that to me in years. I've missed it, I've missed you. We never sleep together anymore._

She flashed me an image of myself, bending over her in her room in her parents cottage, whispering it in her ear because she had just learned how a vampire was created, and was too afraid to sleep alone. She had asked Nahuel, and he had told her everything. Edward had almost ripped the boy apart, then sent Emmett to chase him through the woods. They forgave him though, he meant no harm. Like all of us, he had a soft spot for Nessie, he called her his youngest sister.

I kissed her once more and then stretched out, holding her as she laid her head on my chest. _Let me tell you about my day. _Slowly the images began, showing how Bella had adorned her with the flamboyant diamond necklace and Esme's earrings. I waved at Rosalie to come over, and she was at my side in an instant.

"She's dreaming of her day, did she wear that huge rock Bella got as a wedding gift from the IVA to the prom?"

"Yes, it suited the dress and everything perfectly. Why are you..." She looked at me with an expression that told me she found me incredibly stupid.

"She wasn't when I came to the hotel room, and Edward said no one had been able to touch her."

A ferocious snarl passed her lips and she was on her way out the door, speaking over her shoulder. "We can still hear you, but this needs to be discussed. Behave dog, or I'll have you impounded." As she slammed the door and stomped (I still hadn't gotten over how hilarious that sound was, stomping leech) downstairs, Nessie began to giggle. Very silently, but still. Then came the image of her slipping the necklace off before she left her coat in the wardrobe at the prom. She had not collected it when the group left. _That was easier than I thought, getting rid of her. You really do notice everything about me, don't you? Now, will you kiss me already? _Suddenly she was on top of me, her eyes wide open, and she reached for my lips.

---

**AN:** OK, I'm back here at the end, since it seems that the reviewing rate fell a lot when I didn't write here... Seriously? Do you need any other reminder than the big green button? Well, I've decided to stop nagging about reviews since I've came across some really appaling examples. So, if you're not going to review volontarily, I'll just have to live with that. This story don't need me to beg, bribe or threahten the readers.


	8. thoughts about imprinting

**Authors Note:** All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I simply play with them. **Thank you for your patience!** I know I am trying you by not keeping up the updates as frequently as we all should like. Unfortunately I have come down with something that leaves me really exhausted in the evenings and really makes me too tired to think clearly. **Thank you for all the reviews** though. I will try to have the next chapter up soon, since after that one I will kick off "by request", and do so with a out-take from the next chapter... One more, really sorry for the delay in updating! I will try to better myself, but can make no promises since it's winter (aka flue) time... **Thank you, and I hope you enjoy this!**

Krugess: Bella shields them both, since Nessie shows so much of her mind when touching him, if they kissed and Jacob wasn't shielded, Edward would still be invading on her privacy.  
animegaijingirl: Thank you for the inspiration, and for giving me a better couple to guard Nessie than Bella and Edward. Thank you for allowing me to use 'you' in my story.

**beta: Lacrema**  
---

**Chapter 8 **

**Nessie**

I opened my eyes slowly, scanning the part of the bedroom in my sight for Rosalie, but she wasn't there. The smile that flew across my lips made the crust of dried tears on my cheeks break, and last night's disappointment came back to me in full force.

--

I had successfully lured our chaperon away, thrown myself at Jacob, and he had turned me down. His exact words still echoed in the back of my head.

"Nessie... Sweets..." He had wrapped his arms around me, pulled me off of him and down to his side, turned me around so I had my back against him and then wrapped his gorgeous muscular arms around me like a burning hot cage. "Now is neither the time nor the place."

He had then kissed the top of my head as tears started to trickle down from my deceitful eyes, and I tried not to sob out loud.

"You're still in shock, Nessie. I wouldn't take advantage of you being as shattered as you are now. Doing that wouldn't make what happened earlier tonight go away. I'm sorry, really sorry, for causing this."

I felt his burning lips against the back of my head, and that only made it worse. All I had wanted for tonight was to please him, and this was the third time I failed. The tears streamed from my eyes like a river now, soaking the pillow, but I still tried to conceal it from him. I had slowly placed my hand on his arm, cautious just in case he'd shy away from me, and tried to not let him know I was crying as I asked him how on earth he believed he had caused this? His lips were still against the back of my head as he murmured his answer, his voice filled with tears.

"If I had been there on time, this never would have happened. If I had told you from the start, this never would have happened. If I had told you three years ago, this never would..." His voice faded as he started sobbing harder, and I felt his tears against my skin as they soaked through my hair.

I froze where I lay, I had never, ever, known my Jacob to cry. I had been fairly sure he didn't know how. I felt a burn inside; I had caused this. It was all my fault. I turned around in his arms, ever so slowly, hoping that this was allowed. After wiping the tears away from his beautiful face I left my hand on his cheek.

"_How could any of this be your fault? You did nothing but save me, as you always have."_ I added memories from all the times he had rescued me, held me while I cried, let me sleep away nightmares next to him, and on and on. "_And what is it you should have told me?"_

His marvelous, deep, brown eyes softened and he kissed my forehead before turning me back around. This time he held me tighter, and I felt him against all of my backside. I snuggled even closer. I was still cold, and he was so warm.

He spoke against the top of my head, his voice in that silent, husky, whispering voice that had turned me on so much just a few minutes ago. "Sleep now, Nessie. I promise, I'll tell you everything, absolutely everything, tomorrow," He chuckled a little, tilting his head towards the window where the sunrise was evident even through the rain. "Well, later today, when you wake up again. How does that sound?"

I felt my strength subside, my body going soft, and I knew I would fall asleep soon, so I hurried to kiss his arm (the only part of him that I could reach). Then, for the first time since I woke up back in the hotel room, covered in blood, surrounded by unconscious boys twitching and screaming, I spoke out loud. My slowly whispered words were so low I felt him leaning closer to hear them.

"If you promise, then I can wait. You'd never break a promise to me, you never have. I love you." I felt him cringe at my words at first. I bit my lip as the last words slipped out, I had not intended to say them. His body relaxed again, holding me tightly and securely against him.

He propped himself up on an elbow and curled around me to kiss my burning red cheek. "Nessie, just so you know, whatever I tell you tomorrow, I love you, too." My heart was soaring as he laid back down and allowed me to turn around so I could rest my head at his chest. The familiar thunder of his heartbeat sang me to sleep, just like when I was a baby.

--

I wasn't sure if the last exchange had been real or just in my dreams, but I guessed I would know the second I saw his face. I tried to summon my courage, but it kept evading me, teasing me for being scared to turn around. I decided to go for the coward's path, and slowly reached back a hand towards his side of the bed. Nothing. I turned my head without a second thought, and I saw that the bed behind my back really was empty.

So it was just a dream, then. I should have known. He was disgusted with me, he probably believed I had followed those boys to their room and acted like I had heard some of the girls in school did. Dad didn't allow me to even think the word people called them, and now my Jacob thought I was one of them. I threw my head down on his pillow, adamant to at least gorge myself as much as possible in his tempting scent before I was banned from this house for all eternity.

I almost jumped back up when my face crashed down on a piece of folded paper. I picked it up without taking my nose away from the pillow, it was soaked in tears and still humid, had I been on his side of the bed while I cried? My name was on the note, in Jacob's scattered handwriting. I gently stroked my fingertips over the letters. As long as I didn't open it, I could at least imagine that it was a love note. I sighed deeply and decided to get it over with. Unfolding the note, I held my breath, not daring to exhale in case I forgot how to breathe in again.

"Nessie, Sweets, Love.

There is a problem with the newborn horde we encountered last night. They seem to have attracted the IVA's attention. We're meeting them at the manor." I jolted upright as my father's perfectly shaped, fluid print suddenly took over the note. "_You are under no circumstances to leave the house, lest one of them break in and tries to harm you-- then run, run for your life. The wolves will be here to guard you. Do not fear, if we are not back when you wake up, it means all is well. Be safe, my precious. Dad."_ At the bottom of the paper, written very small (for Jacob, that is) were just a few little lines. "I love you more than my life. All I said last night is true, I WILL tell you everything as soon as I'm back. I'll love you forever if you want me to."

Suddenly my heart was soaring, and I had no intention whatsoever to stay in this house a second longer, I had to find him. I had to let him know exactly how much I wanted to love him forever, and that I indeed wished for him to love me back. The wording had been weird coming from him, but I could just imagine how Rosalie had been snarling at him under her breath while he sat there with the pen, trying to find a way to tell me what he wanted to say.

I searched the closets for something to wear, I knew he had a stock of clothes for me, afraid that I would get a cold if I got caught in the rain and soaked through. Silly werewolf, I never got sick, how would some wet clothes threaten my health? I snickered a little as I caught the scent of a neatly stacked pile of sweaters. Alice... After that realization it took me just a minute to find my clothes, in the drawer where Jacob usually kept his odd shoes, the surviving partners from phasing accidents. I found a pair of well worn jeans and oh! My wolf t-shirt! I thought it had been lost forever when Alice wiped out my entire wardrobe a few months back! I felt a deep-rooted contentment spread inside me. Jacob loved me and I had just found my favorite shirt.

My step was light as I turned my bare feet towards the stairs and the soft noises from the floor below. From the scent I met as I descended into the hallway, there was only Embry and someone unfamiliar present inside. I could hear the crowd of wolves outside playing various games and caught the tingling smell of something being grilled over an open fire. I figured I'd better tell Embry and whoever my other warden was that they could re-join their brothers and the food.

The muffled sound of speaking led me to the living room, and as I turned the corner I was glad I had not spoken first. The two persons in there was so entangled in each other on the couch, the only reason I could separate them was the pale skin and copper hair of the girl. They seemed completely caught up in themselves, speaking as they caught their breath, lips touching skin anywhere they would reach.

That was what I wanted with my Jacob, I thought as I reversed my steps back around the corner and slipped out the front door. The first thing I did was trip on a big furry body and tumble down the stairs.

"SETH CLEARWATER! What the leeches did I tell you about sleeping right outside the freaking door?" As I tried to collect myself, I saw Leah pull Seth up by the ear and I couldn't help but giggle. Leah may be tall for a woman at 5 feet and 9 inches, but she was still a head shorter than all the male wolves, her younger brother included. That, however, did not stop her from pulling him off towards the woods, by his ear, probably to scold him in private.

I recognized the scent of Quil before he seated himself beside me, keeping an eye on Claire, who was grilling a hot dog over the cooking fire. She was turning twelve this fall and becoming more beautiful every day. I wondered how Quil felt about that, being imprinted on her and all.

"So, who's the girl Embry is smooching on Jacob's couch?" The werewolf beside me blew soda out through his nose, to Claire's obvious amusement.

"They WHAT?"

"Making out. Hooking up. Tongue tango. Somewhere between first and second base, going for third." As I said the last he covered my mouth, casting a look towards his dear, innocent, little sweetheart. I wondered if it felt weird to her, having him around all the time. Did she not wonder why he didn't age? Well, I guess sitting at a full-out phased/unphased werewolf party she was in on at least the aging thing. With a shiver, I wondered what would happen to me the day Jacob imprinted. I would be left alone and empty. I hoped he'd still want to be my friend, I would not be able to live without him in my life.

"They went inside? Jacob's gonna kill him!" There was something sweet about how he said it, like he was really happy for the boy who was about to be killed.

"Who's the girl? I've never seen that shade of red around here before." Her skin was as pale as mom's had been before she was turned, at least from what Charlie's pictures had told me.

"That's Becca. Do you remember when Embry came back from Europe in April?" I nodded. Who didn't, he was moping for months.

"I guess Jake didn't tell you why he was so mopey?"

I shook my head, to be honest I hadn't really cared, I was busy making plans for my graduation night.

"He imprinted on this 28 year old editor from Scotland. He ran into her one day in a mall when she was screaming to someone over the phone. Turned out it was her boyfriend on the other end and they had just broken up. Embry, newly imprinted and drooling, offered her to stay in his dorm-room and slept on the floor in the hallway himself. From what I've seen in his mind while phased, they never came closer than a hug, and he was furious that Sam had laid a command on him to come home when his studies were done."

I didn't know where to look. Embry, imprinted? How did I miss that one? "So... did she follow him here, or what?" I had to ask.

"No. She told him her family lived here in the US. She stayed in Scotland because of the boyfriend, and she said she'd be coming over to visit them and think about her life, and that she might call him. An hour ago, Sue dropped her off here, having found her wandering around an empty La Push, looking for Embry. Apparently they are now making up for lost time..."

"Who is making up for lost time, and they better not be doing it in my house!" I would have known that voice anywhere, I had only been too enchanted by Quil's tale to notice his presence before he spoke.

"Jacob!" I shouted his name as I sprang to my feet and jumped up into his open embrace. He spun me around, my feet a good 5 inches off the ground. When he finally set me down, my world was still spinning and I leaned against him with a small "Oh". I let out a sigh when the fragrance that surrounded him and no one else hit me with full force. I buried my face in his bare chest and whispered so low that I was barely audible, "I love you, always. I want you to love me like Embry does the girl he's ruining your sofa with, and I hope you never imprint, ever." When he asked me to repeat myself, I did so by touching his cheek. This was still my best relay, and the one I used for important things.

As my words sunk in, along with the images I sent, deliberately including the worst from the couple inside, I felt his embrace tighten. He kissed my head like he always did and then let go of me, catching my hand as he did so.

"Will you take a walk with me, Nessie? I have something to tell you." I nodded happily and followed him with light steps. As we passed the last of the wolves he spoke softly.

"You see, Sweets, I've already imprinted once, I can't do it again."

My heart sank, way down below the moss and the rocks it hid. My Jacob wasn't mine at all. He had someone he loved more than anything. More than me. Why hadn't he told me? Why had he led me on like this? Why had mom and dad allowed it? _Why?_ I felt tears building up in my eyes again as I followed the boy I loved deeper into the woods. The only thing I was sure of now, as tears now streamed over my cheeks, was that he didn't love me, and never would.

---

**AN:** Oh, I know I said I'd stop with the "end of chapter AN's", but the response to the last one was just amazing. I have a question for you all. **How would you feel about a Nessie & JAcob lemon coming up soon?** and fear not, those who does not want to read it, it would not be included in this story, but in "by request".  
**note:** the girl Embry is making out with is written upon request. But I was happy to do so, since going with my original plan, to have Nessie walk in on her parents would have taken an excessive amount of explaining to not be out of character, and I felt no desire whatsoever to do that. I promise, it was valid, but if I hadn't written it from E or B's PoV it wouldn't have seemed so, and I have pledged to make this only Nessie and Jacob, since the other story was so chaotic.  
sorry for the ramblings....


	9. revelations in the rain

**Authors Note:** All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just make them cuddle in the rain. **Thanks for all the reviews guys! Really, really thank you**. For those of you who were sweet enough to wonder about my exhaustion, I know what's causing it, but the only thing to do is wait it out. It should get better in a few weeks... I hope you'll like this chapter, it didn't really turn out the way I had planned, but then again, that doesn't matter. Have a great weekend! I promise, I will try to write more! **Enjoy...**

**beta: Lacrema**  
--

**Chapter 9**

**Jacob**

The joy that filled my stomach as she jumped up in my arms, screaming my name, made me all warm inside. As I spun her around, all I could think was that she was happy. And when she spoke about imprinting, my heart started beating so loudly that I missed the last words she said. I softly asked her to repeat, and she did so by touching my cheek, sending an electric current of bliss straight through me. I could not have imagined, there was no way I could have known how senselessly happy it would make me to have her say "I love you," in the middle of the bright day, surrounded by people. The picture she showed me of what was going on inside my house was a bit disconcerting, but right now I didn't care. My imprint had chosen me. ME! I knew she didn't really have a choice, but she didn't know that, and she had made her choice without my influence. I kissed her head, feeling the pit of my stomach slowly starting to burn with a smothering fire. I had to tell her everything. And now the time was right.

"Will you take a walk with me, Nessie? I have something to tell you." I held her hand gently, pulling her slightly along after me, not really being able to contain my hurry to get to a private spot. I felt a soft laugh build in my chest, thinking of how she wished I would never imprint. Oh, she would get to eat those words soon enough. I chuckled a little as I teased her.

"You see, Sweets, I've already imprinted once, I can't do it again." I didn't hear her response, and didn't dare to look back either, afraid I wouldn't be able to resist kissing her pouting lips. And if I started kissing her now, I wouldn't get a chance to tell her my story-- the story of us. I quickened my pace, tugging her along even faster. When I noticed she was sagging, I turned quickly to scoop her up in my arms, without looking at her, and started to jog slowly. It felt so good, running with her in my arms, it felt so right. Her sweet breath, cool against my bare chest. Her voluptuous lips, scolding against my collarbone. Her ice cold tears, trickling... Tears?

I stopped dead in my track, right outside the cave by the diving cliffs, and slowly sunk to the ground. I let my fingers catch her face and turned it towards me. Her eyes were red and her cheeks soaked in tears. She started to sob as she looked into my eyes, and only then did I realize how she must have taken my teasing words. I had already imprinted. Meaning, to her, that I belonged to someone else. I felt like a criminal for causing her this kind of pain, and slowly bent down to kiss away her tears. I whispered slowly, as I was erasing the tracks of tears from the corner of her eye to her ear.

"I'm so sorry Nessie. I didn't mean to be an inconsiderate jerk. I thought you would figure it out yourself. I'm so sorry!" She was trying to lean away from me, to not have my lips touching her, but I wasn't willing to let her go just yet. Her soft sobs turned into hiccups when she started to speak, stuttering.

"Who is she, Jacob? How can you kiss me, when there is someone else owning your heart? Did you imprint on a baby? Is that it? Or did you see someone today, after you left me?" Her words were slurred, she was speaking very fast. Because of the slight stutter, I would have had a hard time understanding her if she hadn't emphasized her words with her thoughts. I followed the last trace of tears down her neck and heard her let out a pained cry. I spoke against her soft skin, making sure to get the words right this time and not to say anything that could be misinterpreted.

"You are right and wrong at the same time. I did imprint on a baby, but it's years ago, and she is now fully grown. I fall in love with her over and over again, every time I see her. Today, she was sitting and talking about imprinting with one of my oldest friends, and then told me that she loved me. I have never been more starstruck in my life. I am sorry I was being so blunt with you and hurt your feelings, Love, but you totally dazzled me." I felt her body soften in my arms as I spoke, only to tense up again as it dawned on her exactly who I was speaking about. She projected a very shaky and vague image of herself as a baby to me, her eyes being the only focused part of the image.

"You had the most wonderful eyes I had ever seen. You might have your mothers eyes, but she never made them look as good as you did from the second you were born. Nessie, you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen. You were perfect from the second you were created." I reluctantly left the safety of her neck, not sure if she would be furious with me for keeping this from her. Her expression took me aback a little. Her eyes were closed, tears streaming from them, but at the same time she wore the biggest grin, from ear to ear, radiating happiness as sure as I was radiating the heat that made the damp air turn into vapor around us.

I tucked her hair in behind her ear and trailed her lips before I spoke again. "Nessie, Sweets, please... Say something..."

The little flash of thought might have passed by as just a memory of Embry and his imprint, if not for the fact that I noticed the face of the girl. It was now Nessie's. I chuckled, which made her open her eyes and send me a questioning glare.

"You're dreaming of making out with Embry?" I teased.

"No, silly, and you know it." Her words were not really steady, and I guessed she was still processing what I had told her. An unsure look crossed her flawless features. "Is it true? You really, really imprinted on me?"

I leaned in and gently kissed her lips. "Really, really true. You. Since you were born, I haven't seen anyone else. But Nessie, there's one more thing we have to talk about."

She leaned back, and now I allowed her to put some distance between us, feeling sure she would not run away screaming just yet. She gave me an encouraging look, urging me to go on.

"Remember your Sweet Sixteen party?" She nodded, giving me another fond smile. "Do you remember what you felt when you looked at me then?" I was sure she did, I know I did, having had her emotions and thoughts projected so strong I had thought they were my own at first. She nodded, and the smile grew to a happy grin.

"How could I forget? That was when I realized just how much I loved you, and that you loved me, too. And also that you.." a slight blush was creeping up her cheeks, giving her an absolutely adorable look. "... wanted me. Just as bad as I wanted you."

I felt the blood rush to my own face, and was grateful that the color of my skin would not make it too obvious. I knew exactly what she meant. And I would do best not to think about it, since she was sitting in my lap this very moment, moving around...

I caught my breath and tried to focus enough to explain. "Nessie... That wasn't just love..." Her eyes turned wary, she looked a little... disappointed?

"So, what was it then? Just sex-drive?" I flinched at her harsh tone and the fury she was releasing. I had done it again, being so blunt that she thought I was denigrating her feelings. Good job Jacob, very smooth.

"No, absolutely not. But Sweets, you have to understand, even amongst half-vampires, you are unique. Your grandfather still isn't sure why, but it might be because you are so much around us wolves, or it just might be a freak of nature, but you imprinted too, Nessie. You imprinted too."

She looked at me incredulously for more than a minute, and I was beginning to shift uncomfortably under her hard gaze. Just when I thought I could take no more, she finally spoke.

"I. Imprinted? Why. Wasn't. I. Told?" the cold, clinical tone of her voice was a perfect female adaptation of Edward's. I cringed under her anger.

"I didn't want you to feel pressured, I wanted you to feel like you had a choice." I tried to explain myself.

"But Jacob! What if I didn't want a choice? What if I had started dating someone? What would you have done then?" I dared to breathe out as I heard the rage disappear from her voice as she spoke.

"I would have been miserable, but still happy you had those other experiences." She just raised an eyebrow at me, looking doubtful. "OK, I probably would have been raging mad with jealousy," I conceded. "Happy now?"

She nodded a little, biting her lower lip. "Jacob? Do my parents know?"

"They know everything. But they granted me the decision of when to tell you. They know that I was going to tell you when I left the meeting today. They will be coming over later tonight, to take you home." I hugged her tightly, not caring about the soft drizzle that the fog had turned into.

"But I don't want to go home. I don't want to leave your side ever again. I want to sleep in your bed every night." Though her words made my heart soar, I knew it wasn't a very good idea. And Edward would never allow it.

"Nessie... That wouldn't be very wise. We've already been really, really close to crossing the line of the command I had Sam lay on me. And just because you're out of school doesn't make it go away, POOF!" I illustrated the "poof" with my hands, making her giggle.

"Jacob," She leaned against me, and softly bit my naked shoulder, right where it met my neck. "I heard Sam speaking with my dad. There is no command, it's only been there because we both believed it was. Sam said he had left the pack to you years ago, and that you are the Alpha, the leader of the pack. That's why he refuses to be phased at the same time you are."

I tried to process the words she was saying, but lost all trail of thought as her teeth broke my skin. I felt her tongue lick the wound until it healed, and then she trailed it up my neck, along my jawline and finally reached my lips. "You taste even better than in my dreams, do you know that?"

I tried to respond, but my throat was all clogged up, a big lump in the middle of it. She squirmed in my arms, pushing herself out to the very edge of my crossed legs before sliding one of her legs over me, so that she was now facing me. She threw her head back, and when she came back up straight she started easing herself closer to me. As she straddled me and leaned in to kiss me so hungrily I wondered how I had been able to deny her this for so many years, the rain came down on us. I leaned back on my arms and took in her exquisite being. "Nessie, you're getting all wet, we should go back now."

--

We were walking slowly towards my house, hand in hand, as I heard the howls of my brothers. They weren't distressed, and I laughed a little. Nessie wordlessly asked me what was going on, and I looked at her, dripping wet, walking beside me in the pouring rain.

"They are marking their territory. Most likely your parents are here to pick you up, and wanted to go look for us since we weren't there. That," I tilted my head forward, in the direction of my home, "was probably the pack's way of telling them 'fat chance'."

Her soft giggle sounded like music in my ears, and I pulled her closer, shifting hands so that I could still hold hers while I had my arm wrapped around her delicate, wet shoulders.

As we reached the house, just as I thought, Edward stood in the middle of the lawn, glaring at the wolves who had laid down, completely surrounding him. I heard Nessie laugh, a sound clean as a bubbling spring, and then I heard Bella join in from the front porch.

Edward's glare was ferocious, but in the end he seemed to see the humor of the situation, and he had a hint of laughter in his voice as he greeted us, "Good evening, Jacob, you seem to have trained your guard dogs well. Nessie, I am more than thrilled to see you up and about, though I thought I told you to stay in the house."

Nessie shot Embry and Becca a look, making them both turn crimson red and closely inspect the ground around where they were sitting, holding hands.

"Oh, right. I guess that would be a good enough reason to leave the house..." He seemed uncomfortable with the topic, and I was not entirely sure what the now-bashful couple had been doing when he and Bella arrived. He looked at me, and I nodded in agreement. The wolves slowly drew back, creating a path so that Edward could reproach us. We walked towards him and met him halfway. He looked closely at both of our faces, his eyes lingering for an extra moment at the faint pink blush on my beloved's cheeks. I leaned down and kissed the top of her head, causing the blush to flame up in full bloom again. His eyes returned to me.

"I take it you told her?" It was at that second that it dawned on me: Bella was shielding us. I would not be killed this instant for our passionate moment on the beach a little while ago. I nodded slowly, to buy myself time.

"Yes, I told her everything." Nessie nodded too, and reached out her hand. She included me in her projection, and what she said was basically that she was happy as a puppy about being imprinted on, and about having imprinted on me as well, since that meant that it was me and her, for ever and always.

"You're... happy as a puppy?" I had never heard Edward giggle before, and I was not just a little taken aback by the sound. "Rosalie will never, ever forgive you for that, Jacob. Now she will have to live with the image of Nessie as a dog."

Nessie smirked, and answered with words this time, "Well, don't tell her, then."

"Oh, no, I will not give up an opportunity as good as this. Not after putting up with Emmett's thoughtless comments for all of these years." He looked very young as he spoke, and I wondered exactly how much he had worried about this moment for the last three years. He placed his ice-cold, rock-solid arm over mine around Nessie's shoulders, and together we walked towards my house where Bella was observing us with amusement. As we reached the few steps leading up there, Nessie shrugged free of our arms and leaped into her mother's embrace. Bella closed her arms around her daughter, cradling her as if Nessie was just a little child and not an inch taller than her. When the embrace ended, she looked at Nessie with a bit of distaste, wrinkling her nose.

"Sorry baby, but you really, really reek of wet dog..." The booming laughter Embry let out as he toppled over just a few feet away was accompanied by the coughing barks of wolves laughing, as well as the laughter of everyone else in hearing range.

Nessie smiled at her, and returned to my side. "Oh, really? I think I smell wonderful!" and with those words she reached up to her tiptoes and kissed my lips as I leaned down to meet hers. There was a bit of an awkward silence surrounding us, but I couldn't care less. After a while, I heard Edward clear his throat, and reluctantly I stopped kissing the girl I had not had the sense to dream about loving before imprinting on her.

"Nessie, as much as you probably enjoy spending time with Jacob, I am sure he has some things to discuss with his brothers," he swept his hands toward the wolves gathered around us, "and we have a few things to talk about as well. You can see him again tomorrow." The vampire looked a bit disturbed as his daughter didn't move a muscle to leave my side. I kissed the top of her head before nudging her on a little.

"You go on, we have the rest of the eternity to be imprinted, you know, it won't wear off." I winked at her, and said goodbye to her parents. Just when I turned to the porch she threw her arms around me in a crushing hug, projecting a very tempting image of me, stealthily slipping in the window of her room. "_If you're quiet enough, they won't know a thing..."_

_--_

**AN:**OK, for those of you who wonder what happened in the middle break ( -- ), go find "by request", I'm posting it right after posting this chapter. That will be that little lemon thingy I talked about in last chapter. Don't be mean to me, it was my first attempt ever at a lemon.


	10. the talk

**Authors Note:** All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just dream about them. Really, really awfully sorry it took me forever to get this posted. **I grovel at your feet and hope you'll forgive me**. My only excuse is that I still have a hard time finding time to write when I'm awake, and still am more tired than before. For those of you who doesn't know/guessed yet, my tiredness is because I'm pregnant, and I have a little half-pup coming along in November.** I will NOT abandon this story until it ends**, I swear, but it might take me a while to get there. Enjoy!

**Beta: Lacrema**

**Chapter 10**

**Nessie**

I felt warm, really warm, when I woke up. As I stretched out, I wondered why, because I was obviously alone in the bed. I slowly opened my eyes and my breath caught in my throat. I was in my parents' bedroom, the morning sun shining on me through the big windows, warming me. I had never been allowed to sleep in their bed. If I got scared by nightmares, one of them would come sleep in my bed. The bed was huge and soft. Too soft. I preferred the more hard kind of bed Jacob used.

Jacob. I let out a sigh as I remembered that I had asked him to come sleep with me. He obviously hadn't.

"Don't fret over Jacob, Renesmee. It's for the better he didn't come."

Dad! I couldn't see him, he must be standing somewhere behind me. I closed my eyes and sunk back into the down pillows. Why could he hear me, wasn't mom shielding me?

"Your mom has gone for a shopping trip with Alice. They are shopping for college."

College? Shopping? Mom? Why?

"Alice saw herself getting new wardrobes for everyone and she also saw a few acceptances in the mail. She is rooting for Harvard, saying they have the best close-to-campus shopping."

I could hear the eye roll as sure as if I had seen it. It made me smile. The years with Jacob were rubbing off on him-- he was far more sarcastic now than he was in my earliest memories.

"Ah, Jacob again." The hint of annoyance in his voice mixed strangely with the audible smile. "I suppose he's on you mind constantly, as Bella always is with me. You have to excuse my bluntness, it has been so long since I heard you that I forgot how much of your life centers around him. About why you're sleeping here," there was a pause and I imagined him making a sweep around the room with his hands, showing it off to me. "I met Jacob a few hours ago, he called me down there, and at the top of his mind was, no surprise, your suggestion."

Jacob told him? I couldn't believe it.

"Nessie, Nessie, Nessie. I told you, Bella is away. I have access to both of your thoughts. He told me nothing. But he wasn't cautious about his thoughts, either, like he was before. I know what you two were up to on the beach."

Oh no. I cringed and rolled over to my belly, hiding my head under one of the huge pillows. The embarrassment was excruciating.

"I'm a bit mad at you both, I'm sure you understand why. That is the reason I moved you here, so that I could catch him without waking you if he did try to sneak into your bedroom."

I knew I didn't need to speak out loud, but right now it felt like I needed to be vocal, to make him stop babbling. "Dad? Can I go to my own room? I wanna get dressed." And get out of here, away from him.

"All right. No one is stopping you." I could still feel his eyes burning through the pillow. "Fine, I'll leave you alone to get out of bed, but Renesmee? When you're dressed, we will talk about this."

I heard the door quietly open and then close a second later. I listened intently to decide if he really left the room or if he was standing inside the door, waiting for me. I breathed out in relief when I heard the piano in the living room sing to life. I should give my father a break. He wasn't intentionally spying on me, and I was fairly sure he had heard my worry and was playing so that I would know where he was.

Accompanied by the soft notes, I rolled to the edge of the bed and sat up. My head was spinning a little and as I dangled my feet from the high bed, I felt a bit parched, probably from sleeping in the sunlight. I would need to go hunting soon enough. Before I could begin to really procrastinate I bounced a few times and heard the tiny cringes from the springs in the mattress, then jumped to my feet. I could see why I hadn't been allowed in here as a little girl, I would have loved to jump in that bed. Dad never appreciated the sleepover when Alice had taught me how much fun that was.

The memory made me smile as I sneaked out of my parents' bedroom and crossed the corridor to my own. When I closed the door behind me, I felt safe. Silly, since my dad could undoubtedly still hear my thoughts, but still.

I took my time choosing my clothes, having decided that taking a shower would be putting it off too much. I would eventually have to discuss my relationship with Jacob with my dad. And honestly, I'd rather have that talk with him than with mom. She was really testy about anything involving me and Jacob. I knew why, of course, she had told me everything about her and Jacob, and how much she once loved him. She said I had a right to know. Of course, I didn't understand then what she meant by that. With a final look in the mirror, judging my jeans and polo sweater, I left the sanctuary of my room and walked towards the dying notes from the piano.

**Jacob**

I was anxiously guarding my phone, waiting for her call.

I had spent all of last night talking to the pack, discussing both the very real threat that the Volturi presented and the new order of the pack-- my pack. Sam had been among the wolves who had guarded Edward, and before I could confront him about what Nessie had told me, he explained it to me. Said he hadn't dared ask me to accept responsibility over the pack without trying me first, because I had been so hellbent on never leading them all.

I saw the wisdom of his reasoning, and truth be told, I wasn't even angry at him for tricking me. They were my people after all. Everyone from Sam, who phased first of us all, down to Mandy, Embry's baby sister and the cub of the pack. And whether I liked it or not, they had been in my charge for a few years now, and the only thing that had bothered me was Sam avoiding his duties. Not me having to take the responsibility or making tough calls.

By the time the conversation had come around to this, we had both phased to make sure we didn't misunderstand each other. Then Sam had formally retired from being alpha, leader of the pack. He also told me that the pack could function perfectly well with just the beta running it, as long as the alpha was there for support. I knew why he told me that, and was grateful because he made it easier for me to make my decision.

After things had been settled with the pack, we had called down Edward, since Carlisle was still occupied dealing with the Italians. When the matters of the treaty had been dealt with, and the distinction in scent of the animal-eating vampires and the ones with the more repulsive diet had been made clear to all wolves who had no first-hand experience, Edward asked to speak with me in private. Embry had taken Becca home to introduce her to his mother, so we decided to talk inside, since it was now unoccupied. Still, we kept to the kitchen.

"So, Edward, you want something to drink?" I smirked as I teased him.

"Thank you for offering, but I am content at the moment, thank you." He returned my smirk with his own crooked smile.

"Sure, sure. Just haven't smelled anything appetizing lately, right?" I sat my self down on the kitchen counter and waited for him to come to the reason he wanted to talk to me privately.

"Ah, yes. Jacob, Bella has left Forks to go shopping with Alice. I can hear you, and Renesmee too."

Crap.

He looked a bit bothered by my mental language. "You could say that. I must confess, am disappointed in you."

I shrugged and tried to joke. "Well, what can you expect? I'm a dog, after all..."

He sighed. "Jacob, please, she is my daughter."

"Then don't snoop in my head."

"You are very loud about that specific... moment." He looked pained and disgusted at the thought.

"Well, I'm sorry. I can't really help it."

"I know Jacob, I know. The absolute absence of glee and pride is all that saves you. If you had considered it a conquest you can feel assured I would let Bella know."

I flinched at the thought. Bella was really frightening when it came to protecting Nessie. "So... Why are we talking about this?" I was a bit confused, his tone and words didn't match.

"Well, I suppose your father has had 'the talk' with you." He raised an eyebrow at me and I nodded. It had been on the night of my fifteenth birthday. Dad had given me a condom pack and told me how to use it. It was about the most embarrassing moment of my life. It wasn't like it was news to me, we did have sex-ed in school. Dad told me later it had been a piece of cake for him, but a few years earlier when he had to have that talk with my sisters, it had been horrible. I understood him. I snapped out of my memories as Edward cleared his throat with a soft sound.

"Good. So I have no need to educate you about the birds and the bees. Though, I would strongly encourage you to stay here, in your house, tonight. Not sneaking into my baby girl's bedroom. I will have a talk with her in the morning, and then I'll have her call you. Bella should be getting back by then and you can have your heads to yourselves again." He looked about as relieved at the thought of Bella's return as I felt.

"Ehr... OK. I guess... Uhm. I dunno?" What do you say when the father of your girlfriend catches you with your hand in the cookie jar-- or, well, mind in the cookie jar, I guess. I was startled by the dry cough-like laughter.

"Jacob. I hate that she is growing up, and to make matters worse, she's doing it at rocket speed. However, technically, she's been an adult for almost two years now. I have more than a lifetime of experience of what adults, both men and women, desire from a relationship. You don't have my blessing, I'm not that accepting, but I understand why this is happening and accept the inevitability of it from a biological point of view. Just be careful with my little girl, that's all I ask!"

I knew I looked like a fool, I could feel my jaw dangling somewhere far below the rest of my face.

"Eh... Edward, you lost me about halfway through that, come again?"

A flash of dry humor crossed his face and pulled at the corner of his mouth."It means, if I catch you two, you're in big trouble. But since you technically are both teenagers, I will not be a fool. I hope you have condoms that are fresher than the ones your father gave you ten years ago."

He exited the kitchen, leaving me dumbfounded on the counter, trying not to fall off. When he opened the door he called back to me.

"Good bye Jacob, try to get some sleep. I suspect you'll need it."

I didn't get any sleep. I was too afraid I wouldn't wake up when her call came, so I tried to keep myself busy while hovering around the phone. My house was now perfectly clean and tidy. I doubted even Blondie would... oh, wait, of course Blondie would find something to complain about; the reek of dog.

After that, I did some push-ups, some sit-ups, some jumping jacks, sat in 90 degrees against the wall, anything to keep myself from falling asleep. Sometime during my exercise scheme one of my brothers had popped his head through the door and asked if I wanted some food or drink or company. I growled and threw the closest thing, a sideboard, at the door. They left me alone from then on.

I was about to lose my mind when the ring broke the oppressive silence. I was in such a hurry to pick up that I dropped the phone and had to get down on the floor and fetch it from under my grandmothers rocking chair. I hurriedly answered before she could hang up on me for taking so long to pick up.

"What's with the rumble and huffing and puffing?"

As soon as her soothing voice hit my eardrums I felt my muscles relax and I laid down on my back where I was, halfway in under the rocking chair. I was laughing out of pure joy to finally be talking to her. "I dropped the phone because I was so eager to speak to you, Sweets." I heard her chuckle.

"Right. Are you alone?"

"Yeah,why?"

"Because I finally am. Mom's home, both her and dad followed Alice up to the mansion to discuss college plans."

"So... We have our heads to ourselves again?"

"Yeah, finally. I was going insane here."

I exhaled, and tried to imagine if my dad had been able to read my mind. A shudder rippled down my back."Sorry babe, didn't mean to let your dad in on our secret." I felt like a dog, literally.

"I know, and if you hadn't, I probably would. I can't keep my mind away from you for more than three seconds at a time."

"Tell me about it." I didn't know what to say, I just wanted her to keep speaking, I just wanted to hear her voice.

"Dad had 'the talk' with me."

Ouch!"Again, I'm so, so sorry, Nessie." Feeling like a flea on a dog was more like it.

"It was bound to happen anyway. I guess we should be happy it was nothing more than rolling around in the sand. Could you imagine if we had actually..." Her suggestive pause told me exactly what she meant, and I could picture that scene quite well. It included me dying.

"Lucky us." My voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh no." She suddenly sounded scared.

"What Nessie, what's wrong?" I sat up straight, only to hit my head on the chair, almost causing it to topple over.

"He had it with you, too?"

I laughed in relief. Was that all she was worried about? "No, I mean, he asked me about it and got a front row view of the little talk my dad had with me when I turned fifteen. Jeez, at least I had the comfort of knowing my dad couldn't read my mind. I'm so sorry for causing this sweetie, I really am." Next time we met, I would grovel at her feet, treat her like a queen, do anything she wanted.

"I'm not. You know, we were both in on it. But anyway, let's talk about something more pleasant than my father butting in on our lives, OK?"

"Sure sure. I'm game." Couldn't be happier to leave that particular subject.

"So, I might be going off to Harvard in the fall."

"Oh..." As happy as she sounded, I couldn't help feeling disappointed. Harvard was really, really far away.

"I know it's far away, but you knew I'd have to go to college, Jacob. You didn't think I'd stay and go to Washington State, did you?"

I tried not to let her know how much I had hoped for just that. "Guess not."

"What is it? I don't understand, even if I went there, we wouldn't see each other much. I mean, it's not just like you could come live in my dorm or something."

"Right." Better keep my answers short so she doesn't see how much her words hurt.

"Jacob, what's wrong? I don't understand."

I couldn't take it anymore, the tears where seconds away from breaking through. "Sorry sweetie, I gotta go. Pack's wondering where I am." I hung up the phone and let the tears flow freely as I stumbled towards the refrigerator and tore the acceptance letter from said crappy college from where it hung next to my brand new diploma. The night classes had almost killed me. The pace was tough, but Nessie wasn't the only one who had graduated high school a few days ago. I tore them both to pieces before leaving my house and stalking into the woods, looking for a stray vampire or something-- anything-- to take my mind off of this.

---

**AN:** For those confused about Nessie's "no problem with going away" attitude, she truly believes Jacob would follow her to the end of the world if it came to that. He have always been around, maybe not in her sight, but never very far either. Just figured I'd let you all know that, since unfortunately I cannot guarantie when next chapter will be up. Hope you liked this one, even though it took its time =)


	11. not alone

**Authors Note:** All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just make them wander at night. **Thanks for the reviews**, I was relieved that there was still people following this story. As before, I cannot make any guaranties as for when next chapter will come along, but for now; Enjoy!

**beta: Lacrema**  
--

**Chapter 11**

**Nessie**

I walked slowly through the forest towards La Push. I had my parents' permission to wander freely at last. The Volturi had returned to Italy a week ago, after having visited Tanya and her clan, making sure the new little coven was to be trusted with our secret. Ever since that strange call to Jacob, I hadn't spoke to him. Not that I hadn't tried, but he never answered his phone. When I called Billy to ask why, he told me that Jacob had been phased ever since, and was sulking deep in the woods. I knew he hadn't abandoned me-- he slept outside my window every night, I would recognize those snores anywhere. But if I tried to approach him, he'd jump to his paws and run off.

I guessed he was still upset about the Harvard thing, but that wasn't even settled yet. All I wanted was some praise for getting in, for him to be proud of me. I knew dad hadn't needed to pay my way in; I had straight A's. Well, except in biology. I kept messing up human, vampire and werewolf gene-structures. Luckily, the teacher wasn't bright enough to catch on to what it was. I'd have to watch myself in college, that was for sure.

It was pitch black around me, the trees standing close together with their crowns so entangled I had no way of knowing if the moon was out or not. Not that the darkness bothered me, my night vision was far supreme to that of any human, though not as good as the other mythological creatures of which I was a blend. I was listening intently to my surroundings, trying to find Jacob, of course. I could feel him in my heart, I knew in what general direction he was, and I felt pretty sure I would find him in his house. I could be wrong, though, I only sensed directions as a light tug at my heart, there was no way of knowing how far or close he was. Hence the reason for my hard listening.

I had heard the soft sobs of a girl for a while, but I wasn't really interested until I realized they were in my path and were growing in despair. My curiosity got the better of me and I made my way through a bunch of low bushes, into a little hollow in their midst. There, huddled up with her knees against her chest, sat Mandy, crying her heart out. From the state of her soaked clothes she had been here for a while. I knew she had heard me, so I just seated myself beside her and waited. I knew she was the newest wolf, and that Jacob would be furious if he knew I spent time alone with her. I wasn't sure what she thought about me or my family, either. I did, however. know I couldn't just leave her alone. She wasn't much older than me, than my actual physical age. I remembered playing with her when I was... maybe four or five translated into human years. She was not much bigger than me then. She couldn't be older than twelve or thirteen. Poor girl to phase so young.

As I pondered her youth, said she-wolf leaned herself onto me, dropping her head down into my lap, still crying like there was no tomorrow. Without even thinking about it I started stroking her hair with one hand as I rubbed her back with the other. Her cries eventually turned more towards hiccups, and I could feel her tears starting to flow slower than before. Now that she had calmed a little, I could hear the pad of big paws around us, keeping an observing distance. She must have heard them too, because all of a sudden she jerked upright and took a deep breath before almost shouting over her shoulder, towards where one set of paws had stopped.

"Collin, Embry, back the hell off! I told you, I want to be ALONE!"

There was a soft rustle outside the ferns and then a tired voice that had to be Collin's since I didn't recognize it, spoke back."Mandy... You've been out here all day, and it's drawing close to midnight. Your mom is worried sick about you. And so am I and your brother. Please, let us follow you home."

She tensed as he spoke, as if she shrugged back from the fact the he had spoken."I'm not alone." She murmured as she leaned into my lap, now resting her slim back against my chest, as if to reassure herself I hadn't left. There was a rumble in the twigs as first Embry, still in wolf shape, and then a boy of medium size –for a werewolf, that is-- forced their way into the little circle.

"Oh, Nessie. Sorry, didn't smell you. You on your way to see Jacob?" He tried to sound cheerful, but it came out in a false tone. He wanted me away from Mandy, didn't need to be a mind-reader to understand that.

I was sincere in my answer, not trying to hide how annoyed I was with my precious imprint. My imprint... I wasn't quite accustomed to the thought yet.

"I thought I'd give it a try since he's avoiding his phone as if it was covered in vampire scent." I could hear how my voice was dripping with sarcasm, but I didn't care.

"Oh. Eh, Mandy, you coming?" The boy looked down at the girl from where he was towering above us, his question something between a demand and a suggestion.

She straightened up a little, but didn't budge from where she was leaning against my chest. "Collin. I will go home when it pleases me. Embry, tell mom not to worry. Tell her I need some girl time."

Collin's face was filled with mixed emotions, but the wolf was now pushing his leg, nudging him towards the bushes, away from us."But... She's not a girl! She's a leech!"

Before I realized what was happening, she was on her feet, slapping him across the face. The wolf, Embry, let out a fearsome growl.

"She is female. She has boobs. She bleeds. She is a girl. Now GO!" Almost before she uttered the last words, her voice was muddled, and when she turned around I saw that tears were once again flowing down her cheeks. As she threw herself back into my arms, the big boy staggered backwards, fear crossing his face. Why were boys so scared of girls crying, anyway? I returned to the previous head-stroking and back-rubbing, waiting once more as she calmed down. It took a while, but in the end, she was quiet.

I was beginning to wonder if she had fallen asleep when she slowly sat up."I'm sorry." Her tear-soaked face was remorseful and apologizing.

"For what? Defending me against a giant?" I smiled as I spoke, well aware that the boy was far smaller than my Jacob.

"For crying like a baby, for making a scene, all that." I couldn't help myself as I reached out and pushed her black tussle of hair away from her face and then caressed the side of her face. I was astounded that she let me. I didn't know what to say. "Thank you."

Now I was even more confused, she was thanking me? "Now you lost me. That one you'll have to explain to me."

She moved away from me a bit, leaning back onto a big rock. She looked a little undecided before she began to speak. "Nessie?"

"Yes, Mandy?"

"How did it feel for you to grow so fast? I mean, this part." She showed with her hands above her chest and hips.

Now I thought I understood. "It was weird, really weird. For me, they grew in lapses, so over a night I could have outgrown all my shirts or pants." I laughed at the memory, and was pleased to see that she was smiling lightly too. "But couldn't any of your sisters tell you that?"

She looked a bit embarrassed as she answered. "I'm only twelve, the closest one in phasing age was fifteen. I mean, I only got my first training bra a few weeks back, and now it's growing everywhere." Her voice was filled with despair once more and I moved so I sat beside her against the rock. I laid my arm around her shoulders and she leaned against me as she told me about her feelings about the whole growth spurt. I answered when she asked me questions, but mostly I just let her speak. I guessed that having everyone around you just a thought away when you were phased made you appreciate telling someone something for real. Like I did with dad.

After a while, I knew it was getting late, or early might be a better word for it, because the forest was turning into a lighter shade of black, slowly edging towards the gray of dawn."Mandy, we should be getting on our way. Both before your mom goes crazy, and before Jacob finds out I spent the night with a fresh shape-shifter that still isn't in control of her phasing."

She giggled a little. "OK, I guess you're right. But I'm not sure I wanna go home, Collin will be there and he'll be just as upset that I spent the night with a half-vampire."

I wondered why. Collin wasn't her brother, she and Embry didn't have any siblings. Collin was one of the older wolves in the pack. I suddenly remembered, he had been there before I was born. "Can't he just mind his own business?" Did he have some sort of alpha-complex or something?

"Not much more than you and Jacob can butt out of each others' lives. We're imprinted." She said it with a sigh.

"Isn't that a good thing?" I was actually confused.

"He is so old. I freak out every time I think about having to spend eternity with him. And I feel disgusting in this new body, and I just know he would be appalled too if he wasn't so starstruck by the imprinting. I mean, nothing matches! And worst is, I think I like him, and I want him to like me for me and not because of some old genetics thing..." Tears were trickling down her cheeks once more, but she was still calm.

"Have you talked about this with him, with anyone? Except me of course. Doesn't the whole pack know this as soon as you phase?"

She hiccuped a little as she answered. "I can't talk about this with him! I don't want anyone in the pack to know, they would just be disgusted with me, too. That's one pro to being in such a big pack, there are so many minds that if you're trying to hide something, you'll succeed. A con is that you can never be alone. Even if you run away and hide your tracks as best you can, there is someone on patrol that's bound to see you and report that Embry's baby sister, aka Collin's girl, is crying in a bush right by the southeast leech border."

Her voice was tired and humorless.I hugged her a little tighter. "And I can't speak to mom, she could never understand. And she thinks Collin hangs around our house because he's a friend of Embry's. If she knew the real reason, he'd get into heaps of trouble."

"Well, isn't she used to him? He's been around forever." I mean, any mom would get a clue after 10 or so years.

"He didn't imprint on me before I phased. We've never met before. I mean, I've seen him at a distance, but never cared, He was one of the big boys, but he moved away to go to college and just came home, he graduated last Christmas. By then I was up in Makah for an exchange; I actually came home because I phased. So, he was the first wolf I met and I didn't even understand what was going on. I was confused, my new senses were weird, and all I knew was that I needed to get home, they would know what to do. It took a while for them to understand that it was a double imprinting, because I thought I was going crazy, dreaming about this big charcoal wolf, about pulling my fingers through his fur. I wondered how I had been so sure it was a him. Everyone let me be, they thought that I had been spooked by the strength of Collin's imprinting. Thing was, it was so strong because it was us both, at the same time."

I blessed my lucky star for my family and my Jacob, how easy I had had it in comparison. "I don't know what to do Nessie! I don't wanna be around him because I always make a fool out of myself, but I can't keep away either. I don't understand how you'll survive being in Harvard while Jacob is here."

"Ugh, you've heard about that."

"Not to be rude, but anyone who's been phased in the state of Washington has heard it. He is the alpha, his voice drowns out the others."

"Is he very angry with me?" Please, say no.

"He's not angry at all Nessie, he's terrified. He can't survive with you that far away."

"What do you mean? We've been far apart before. And even if that were the case, I guess he could come with me." I really didn't see the problem.

"No, he can't. He can leave the pack, like to move away from La Push to Washington State, because if we need him, he'll only be an hours' sprint away. But further away wouldn't work. The alpha tie is too strong. He actually, physically can't abandon the pack like that. And to be away from each other like that? He wouldn't be the only one affected, you would react, too. I've heard that you froze a lot before, when Jacob wasn't close all the time. Imagine being on different sides of the country, it would be like a nuclear winter."

"Oh..." I hadn't even considered the fact that we wouldn't be together, not really. I had said that thing about the weekends, knowing he wouldn't be able to keep away from me for a week at a time. I hadn't even given the pack a second thought.

"And I suppose he's a bit sad that you wouldn't even consider Washington State, since it was the only school he got into."

"What?" Got into? "He couldn't have gotten in, he hasn't even finished high school yet!"

"Has too. He's been taking night classes for years, only to be able to follow you in your life. He didn't plan on becoming alpha, but now he is."

Now it was my turn to need a supporting arm, and Mandy's little hand patted my shoulder as I tried to wrap my head around all pf these new pieces of information.

We both looked up as soft paws came padding towards us, not trying to be quiet.

I sensed his smell before he stopped, and spoke before he could phase and come inside. "Jacob, I know it's you. We're coming now, I think it's time to end girl time."

I stood up and took Mandy's hand. She held it tight as we made our way crawling trough the brambles, out to the immense russet wolf who stood there. He looked sad. I touched his head, stretching up to scratch his ears, and whispered how sorry I was into the closest one. He sank down, inclining his head as if to motion me to climb up, as I had done so often when I was a kid.

I climbed up and pulled Mandy with me, only to get a fake groan and a pathetic limp from our mount. It caused the young girl to laugh out loud from pure joy.

"He always did that to me when I was a kid! I just thought that uncle Quil had a really big dog back then, but he always did just that. Jacob? Did Collin ask you to search for me?"

My heart was breaking when I heard her fight to keep the longing out of her voice. My Jacob shook his head.

"Embry?" Now he nodded, and then slowly walked towards the community, and the Call house, while Mandy's arms were locked around me like iron bars. I could feel her quiet tears through my t-shirt.

I buried my fingers in Jacob's thick fur to hold on, but he kept a steady pace, making it very easy to ride along. I made my way through the rough russet hairs until my fingers touched his skin. I choose my thoughts carefully, knowing now that his thoughts would be the one voice all wolves in the woods would hear.

"_I'm so sorry Jacob. I didn't know, didn't realize what it would mean. And I apologize to __the whole __pack__. I know __they have had to put up with your foul mood because of my actions." _

I heard an appreciating howl a bit to the left of us and how Jacob huffed in rebuke of it.

I smiled. "_I bet he was terrible to you guys. I'm really sorry."_ Now I could hear the sound of a wolf cringing through laughter, and I was fairly sure Jacob was telling them all foul things for agreeing with me.

"_Jacob. Would you be happy if I decided to stay and raise the grade __point __average at Washington State? The others can go to Harvard if they want to, __and __it would be nice to get the opportunity to shop for myself, and __do the__ laundry __for once, not just send it away to charity__. Why didn't you tell us you graduated? If it hadn't been for the whole pack business, I'm sure dad could have gotten you accepted there__,__ too."_

I felt a slow hum beginning to vibrate under his skin, and though he was still jogging slowly, the tense set of his neck had somehow relaxed. Before I took my fingers off of his skin, I sent him one more request, just as we broke the forest line and came out in the bushes of the Call's backyard.

"_Please, tell Collin to give Mandy some room. She needs him to let her be a twelve-year-old girl a little longer. She needs to be able to go into her own living room without finding him there every time. And she needs a friend, someone in the pack, who she can talk girl stuff with. Werewolf girl stuff. If you pass that on, the girls in the pack will understand. Mandy is very good at hiding her suffering from the pack, don't let her get away with it."_

I looked up as he stopped and saw a shadow disappear from the back porch. I realized that Collin had been phased and heard it all. Embry, who was sitting on the bottom stair, came walking towards us. He nodded to Jacob, touched my hand as he passed me, and then folded his arms around his sister. She clung to him, still quietly crying, and he lifted her up, crooning soft words to her as he turned around and walked back to the house.

Jacob turned as well, and started to walk slowly away, me still securely on his back.

"I bet mom and dad are worried about me, I've been gone far longer than they gave me permission for. Wanna follow me home to give me a good cover-story? Don't think dad will like the spending the night with a young wolf part..."

He turned his head towards me and raised one bushy brow, followed by a goofy, wolfy grin.

"True, he would prefer the female newbie over me spending the night with you." I laughed at the thought, I would be in trouble no matter what, but it didn't matter, because my Jacob wasn't mad at me.

--

**AN:** So I managed to produce one more chapter quickly, when I said I couldn't... Why? Because I saw Mandy crying her heart out in the middle of the night and I couldn't stand it. I didn't have the heart to let her wait until I felt like writing, if you understand what I mean.  
This chapter might me considered a filler, but it's actually about Nessie growing up, caring about others (remember, she didn't like kids that far back...) and about her making up with Jacob.


	12. late night, no pants

**Authors Note:** All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. **I am SO sorry for the enormous hold-up**, I really am. I read a fic that went where I was planning on going, and at first I couldn't write because it felt like I was copying, and then after a while I realized that that particular path was something almost everyone doing Nessie & Jacob stories took. So I had to find a new direction, and it took me some time. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.

beta: Lacrema

--  
**Chapter 12**

**Jacob**

She was singing softly where she sat, riding on my back. It wasn't a particular song, just random words and melodies mixed together. The tone of her voice alone would have told me how happy and relieved she was, even without the hand that never really stopped relaying her feelings straight into my head.

I knew my pack (it was still strange to think of them as mine) was basking in the lighter mood I was emitting. Leah had informed me that she was very relieved to not have to cry over Nessie leaving her for college anymore. I rolled my eyes as I thought about the biggest bitch in the pack. Everyone thought she would change, become softer when she imprinted, but she was still Leah. Just not sulking over Sam anymore.

We passed the bramble of bushes where I had picked up my imprint and the pack's latest cub just half an hour ago, and was a bit proud at how well Nessie had done. I had observed the two of them through Embry, and been amazed at how Mandy related to my imprint, and that Nessie accepted it. She never liked children, I guess she couldn't really relate to them. She always did prefer the company of grown ups, much because her mind worked so differently.

I could feel Collin in the back of my head, sulking a bit that his actions had hurt Mandy, but also because he wouldn't get to see her tonight. That couple would be interesting to watch.

But Mandy ending up a werewolf posted another issue within the pack. Who was her father? Just like with Embry, no one knew. Well, I bet her mom knew, but she never told anyone. She took a long vacation one year, when Embry stayed with Quil, and not too long after she came home it was evident she was pregnant. The rumor was that she had met some charming guy and taken the opportunity to have another kid before it was too late. Now the situation was a bit tense, to say the least. It felt a bit far fetched that she had tracked down Sam's dad, when no one knew where he was, and hooked up with him. That left Harry and my dad. Ugh.

As we crossed the border, I sensed some of the wolves draw closer to it, to be as close as possible if there would be any trouble.

I was fairly sure there would be trouble, but not the kind they'd need to rescue me from. Well, if Blondie decided to chop my head off for not speaking to Nessie, then I might need assistance...

I noticed how the girl on my back became less and less relaxed the closer we got to her parents' cottage, and the singing had stopped a while ago. I wished I could just phase and comfort her, but my sweats hadn't fared well from living in the woods for a week, and I had lost them when the leather cord broke. We'd be in enough trouble without me being naked.

**  
Nessie**

Jacob was trotting along at a pace no swifter than slow walking. Not that I had anything to complain about, I was finally spending time with him, but it would have been nice if he would have phased so we could talk.

I wasn't sure how to explain to my parents about Mandy without breaking her trust. Even if every werewolf in La Push knew her inside out, it felt like what she had told me was private. Then again, not telling them about it would drive them to even worse conclusions about me and Jacob, I was sure of it. Especially considering what we were up to the last time we were left alone together.

I buried my fingers deep in his fur and sighed a little. I could see his ears angling backwards and could imagine the questioning look on his face.

"It's nothing... I'm just trying to come up with some way to explain my absence. I don't really know why I'm so anxious, it's not like I was out partying all night."

He relaxed his ears. I loved how the wolves' ears gave them away half the time, in a way that their faces didn't. I rocked a little in my seat as he climbed a particular rocky path, and I got that rumbling that always reminded me of a cat's purr. Voicing that opinion had earned me a smack on the head from Leah when I was 4. Jacob more or less banned her from the pack for that, but agreed that they did not purr! I snickered a little at the memory, and the ears came to life once more. It just made me giggle harder.

"'S nothin'... just... funny... me'mry..." I had a hard time speaking, I was giggling so hard now. I just couldn't show him what I said-- at the top of my mind was the image of the pack, all rolled up in sunny spots like cats, purring.

About the time I was able to breathe without catching on my giggles, we entered the meadow where my parents' cottage laid, surrounded by mist like in a fairytale. I wasn't sure when I had started seeing it as theirs, instead of my home, but the fact remained. My home was wherever Jacob was.

Mom was sitting on the bench outside the front door, looking displeased.

"You're late." It was just a statement of fact, not in any way betraying any emotion. Oops. Usually she was at least irritated. Wonder how dad would be? Wonder if she would still shield our minds? She stood up and walked inside, leaving the door open for us to follow.

I slid off of Jacob's broad back reluctantly. After a week apart I didn't wanna leave his side even for the seconds it would take him to phase and come inside. I gave my mount a final scratch between the eyes and entered the hallway. Realizing that he followed without phasing made me a bit curious and also annoyed. I missed his voice. Knowing where all serious discussions in this house took place, I entered the kitchen, cautious to see how my father was taking my long absence. Oddly enough, he was smiling.

"Am I so frightening, Jacob, that you don't dare to come in human shape? Or is it Bella," Dad tilted his head towards Mom who stood in the corner, glaring a little on us all, "that's spooked you so? I'll give you that, her temper is not something to play with."

Jacob frowned and then tilted his head towards his hind leg. I realized that none of his legs had their usual apparel of sweats, and it dawned on me why he hadn't phased. As it hit me, I felt the blood rise in my face.

"Oh. I'll go see if we have any of Emmett's old clothes here still." Mom flitted out of the room, almost like she was running from the situation.

Dad turned his gaze towards me. It was piercing. "So, care to enlighten me on why Jacob has no clothes?" His voice was tired.

"I don't have a clue. He just picked me up less than an hour ago, to bring me home. I was wondering why he didn't just phase myself." It sounded thin, even though it was the truth.

"Is that so?" He now turned his questioning on Jacob, which was just silly considering the fact that Jacob couldn't very well answer him while still a wolf, and apparently Mom wasn't upset enough to lift her protection of our thoughts. That made me warm inside.

"I found some jeans that might fit. They might be a bit short, though. I left them in Nessie's room; you can go there and change. I believe she has some of your old t-shirts as well. I'm sure you'll find them by the reek, she won't let us wash them." I felt my face go even redder. Thanks, Mom.

Jacob just bowed his head, clumsily turned around in the kitchen and strolled towards my room. I was wondering if he would leave the door open when he closed it with a flick of his tail. Not thirty seconds later it re-opened and he came out in all of his glory, naked chest and all.

"Jacob," my mom sighed, "I didn't say that about the t-shirts just to be polite."

"Sorry, Bella, I checked them out and they were all too small." He didn't seem sorry at all as he winked at me. "And to answer your previous question," now he turned to my dad, "I lost my pants somewhere in the woods when the cord snapped and I was moping too much to care. I'm pretty sure you're aware that I've been acting like a three-year-old this last week, sulking 'cos I didn't get my way."

"About that," Dad started to speak, but I didn't let him finish.

"Jacob graduated High School! He got in to Washington State." I was sure they could see how proud I was. I wasn't sure which I was prouder about really, me getting in to Harvard on my own, or Jacob graduating. But I was leaning towards the latter.

My parents' expressions both changed in an instant, going from surprised, to happy before they switched to realization, and then concern. I nodded.

"I think you know that means I'm not going to Harvard, not this time, at least. Sorry." I was fairly sure I didn't look sorry at all.

"Oh, well... this was... unexpected. We'll need to talk some more about what this means for the family." Dad was absentminded as he spoke, probably thinking through all the consequences this would have.

"Congratulations, Jacob!" For the first time tonight, Mom's face broke into a genuine smile, and she walked over to give my Jacob a hug.

"Of course, how rude of me. Congratulations, Jacob!" My dad joined her after shaking his head a little, probably scolding himself for the delay.

When the little hugging ceremony was over, Jacob sat down at the table and my parents returned to their spots, with the only difference being that Mom had stopped glaring.

"About this night. Nessie was helping one of our younglings-- cubs, if you will-- with some issues she had. Now, don't give me that look." Dad's eyebrows had curled together and Mom's mouth had pulled up into a silent snarl. "Mandy can't phase unless she's very provoked, and in the state she was, there was never any danger. I kept tabs on the situation from the second the pack was aware Nessie was around. This is a very young girl, struggling immensely with coming to terms with herself. And the rest of the girls are much older, and she doesn't really feel any connection to them yet. But she remember playing with Nessie, and she knows how Nessie grew, so they have had similar experiences. Don't be mad at her. I am actually very proud of how carefully she handled this situation, when I'm sure all she wanted was to tell the silly little child to stop sobbing, and go look for me-- which was why she came down to La Push in the first place."

I didn't tell him that the thought of being so rude never crossed my mind. He was telling my parents what had happened, without me having to worry about giving away too much, because I knew he spoke only about what the gathered pack knew and had concluded after my meeting with her. I looked at my parents, who seemed to relax ever so slightly.

"I have never seen a werewolf able to phase when it was crying so hard it could hardly breathe, have you?" I knew my parents probably hadn't seen all too many phasings altogether (Jacob excluded, he could phase just about anytime he wanted to, no matter his mood). They slowly shook their heads.

"I think I'll go see her again in a few days, if that's OK. I'm sorry it got so late, I just lost track of time." I pleaded a little with my eyes as I said the last part.

"You just had us so worried," my mom explained. Dad gave her a sidelong look. "OK, _I _thought Jacob might have upset you so much you ran away, or that he had been angry and hurt you or..." her voice trailed off, and I got to my feet and rounded the table to give her a tight hug. She smelled a bit of my Jacob, and suddenly my heart was aching for him, though he was just a few feet away.

"It's OK, Mom, I love you even though you have serious issues in trusting peoples abilities to come out of things alright." I turned to Dad. "Now, if I could get some time alone with my boyfriend," I felt the blood rise on my face as I said the word, "I think we have a few things to talk about as well." Jacob just nodded.

"OK, we'll be here in the kitchen, reading, in case you want to use the living room." Dad pointed towards the books on the table. They obviously didn't trust us to be _alone _alone. Good call, I guess.

"I think we'll be in my room, thank you." I grabbed my imprint's hand and led the way.

I heard mom call after us, "Leave the door open!" I laughed as we walked into my room. Like a closed door would make any difference when your parents had super smell and even better hearing. And if they suspected we were up to something, I didn't doubt for a second that the shield that protected us would lift instantaneously.

--

**AN:** Sorry this is more of a filler than you hoped for, but I felt a need to tie together some loose ends before moving on. I hope you liked it, and please, let me know what you think, good or bad.


	13. babysitter negotiations

**Authors Note:** All things Twilight belong to **Stephenie Meyer**, I just write my dreams. I hope you'll find it in your fanfic-lovvin' hearts to **forgive me for this long pause**. I blame it all on my now 3 month old puppy. Once he was born I regained my energy and writers need, but for my sins I apparently achieved a lapdog =) I hope you enjoy this long overdue chapter!

**beta: Lacrema**

**Chapter 13**

**Nessie**

"So... Washington State?" I wasn't sure what my question really was, still I asked it as I sat on my desk, dangling my feet.

"Yeah." A shy smile tugged at the corners of Jacob's mouth as he looked down; he looked almost embarrassed where he sat on the edge of my bed.

"What does your dad think? Everyone has to be so excited for you!" As soon as the words slipped out of my mouth I realized my error. Everyone had been, except me... Now it was my turn to hang my head in shame.

"No Nessie, it's not like that." He got to his feet and walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. "No one has had time to be happy 'cos I wanted to tell you first and, well... you know the rest. The pack only figured it out after they went into the house and found the scraps of my acceptance letter. Dad's ecstatic, but the pack is mixed. A lot of them are worried about the chain of command and everything. There's quite a few of the younger pups who see this as their big chance to prove themselves." He leaned down and kissed the top of my head, then left his lips there.

After a while, him standing there while I sat down with my nose buried in his chest, there came a distinct throat-clearing sound from outside the room. Distinct because, well, since when does vampires need to clear their throat?

"Come on, we gave you privacy, now break it up!" Mom sounded serious.

"Yes mom..." Jacob snickered as he answered her, with a mocking tone. I couldn't help but giggle.

"Jacob..." Mom sighed.

"I know Bella, I'm sorry, but you can't seriously call this privacy! Not with the two of you hearing every word we breathe. And even if we'd go somewhere out of earshot, I feel quite confident that then we'd have even less privacy. Am I right?" He sounded a bit tired and fed up, and I understood him. I felt exactly the same way.

"Can you blame us? You brought this upon yourselves, acting the way you did." Even though I knew mom was right, it felt unfair. Why couldn't my parents be normal mortals with standard hearing and no more insight to my or my boyfriend's mind than what I decided to tell them?

"Bella? Leave them be. No matter how much we dislike it from time to time those two have always been inseparable. What makes you think nagging would do the trick? I think we could accept another chaperon, say, Charlie?" My dad had apparently decided to join mine and Jacob's side. Mom frowned.

"Charlie? I love my father but he's not getting any younger. And in retrospect, he couldn't keep you out of my bedroom at all. I don't think he's the right person." I started smiling, I had heard this before.

"That is only because he had no idea I was there. He's not so unaware anymore, and he only gets more suspicious with age."

I looked pleadingly at my mom, and in the corner I saw Jacob giving her the most pathetic puppy-dog eyes I had ever seen.

"Alright. But not tonight. Billy called just before you got back, wanting to see his son since said person has been moping in the woods for a week or so. Go home to him, Jacob." The last sentence wasn't an order, it sounded more like a mothers advice. Like she thought he should go, but he didn't have to leave at once. That gave me an idea.

"Mom? Couldn't Billy keep an eye on us? Please?" I was a bit appalled with myself. I realized I sounded like a five-year-old pleading for a shiny toy.

"I bet dad would be thrilled to see Nessie again, she hasn't been down to the rez in ages, accidents aside." Jacob wasn't far behind me in this campaign for privacy.

I could see my mom trying to come up with a good enough reason to say no, while dad was still weighing the choices against each other. He even wrinkled his forehead as he pondered, his human charade so deeply rooted. Finally he nodded.

"I think Billy would do. On one condition, keep the door open." I eagerly bobbed my head, and in the corner of my eye I saw Jacob doing the same.

"Ehum..." Mom's voice was very skeptical "I think he should be in the room with them at all times."

I couldn't believe my ears!"That wouldn't give us very much privacy, now would it?" I wasn't proud of the snarky tone I used against my mother, but I was sick of this over-protectiveness of hers.

"Bella, I agree with Renesmee, the point of this is privacy. Don't you remember how much you craved it once?" Dad's silky voice was smoother than ever. I wondered what faces they gave one another in the corridor outside my room. From where I was sitting I wouldn't see them even if they had been in the doorway. I hugged Jacob hopefully when mom began speaking again.

"I also remember why..." Her voice came from down the hall, it sounded like she was heading back to the kitchen without making any other sound than her speech. I had to bite my lip to keep from cheering. Mom might not like it, but we had won.

"So... I think you should be heading back home before she changes her mind." Dad spoke as he entered the room, inclining his head towards the kitchen at the end. Jacob nodded.

"I guess I should. Thank you." He turned to the window, obviously leaving that way.

"Will you carry me or should I take the car?" I hoped for carry.

"What? Oh, Ness... Maybe you should stay here tonight, let things cool down a little. I think my dad would appreciate some father-son time." His face was apologizing even as he spoke. My dad cut in before I could answer.

"You're staying here tonight, no sleepovers just yet." He looked at me gravely, there was no chance of changing his mind on this. I decided to be grateful for what we would get, and not mourn what I couldn't have, right now at least.

"All right." I turned to Jacob "I'll be over first thing in the morning." He faked a groan, he preferred to sleep in when he could, but I knew he really wanted me there as fast as possible.

"You just get more demanding the older you get." The tone of his voice was mocking as he pulled me into a tight hug.

"I'll let you say good bye in private." Dad was chuckling as he left the room, and then closed the door after himself. I was a bit chocked by that, but then again, it made no difference really.

"Alone at last." Jacob's husky voice by my ear sent shivers down my spine. Then we both began to giggle as we heard an annoyed snarl coming from the kitchen area.

"I better get going. I'll see you in the morning." With a last kiss on my forehead Jacob opened the window and slid outside.

"First thing! And aren't you forgetting something?" I asked while pouting my lips. I wasn't going to settle for a kiss on the head, I wanted the real thing.

He wrapped his arms around me once again, pulling me up so I was standing on my knees in the open window. This made me tall enough to see his throat without lifting my head. He let go of me with his left hand and traced my side up to my shoulder. It left a burning trail and plans to elope here and now passed through my head faster than I could discard them. His fingers started up my elbow towards my neck and it felt so good. When he reached my chin he tilted my head backwards with two fingers and as his lips touched mine he entangled his hand with my hair and pulled me even closer.

The heat of his lips against mine, the unmistakable taste of him, and I was on fire. I knew it was unfair, but as I buried my hands in his shaggy hair, I projected all that I felt to him. After just a few seconds he pulled away, looking very reluctant.

"Jeez Nessie... How am I supposed to sleep tonight after that?" He licked his lips, as if he wanted to gather the last of my taste. I wanted to kiss him again, longer, that little moment wasn't enough.

"Jacob..." Oh, was that really me? My voice sounded so hoarse. Jacob took a step back, but left his hand to caress my check.

"I know Sweets, I want more too. So much that if I don't leave now I don't think I'll be able to." I just nodded. I didn't dare speak; I wasn't sure my voice would hold. Instead I projected one last thing.

Jacob chuckled, "You're hopeless. I love you!" then gave me a peck on the cheek and bolted towards the forest.

**Jacob**

I didn't get much sleep that night. I couldn't help re-living that kiss, over and over again. My dad had been happy to see me, and after having dinner at Sue and Charlie's, we spent the evening watching TV and just being. It wasn't before I slammed my head on the wall as I laid down on the bed that I remembered why I was so happy to have my own home, with my own, supersized bed.  
The little sleep I did get was filled with dreams about Nessie. About her sitting on the desk, leaning forward as her feet dangled, and how her top had showed more than intended. About her body against mine. About that last vision she sent me. It was nothing more than a mental image of what she'll be wearing when she comes over today, a tank top and a pair of cut-off jeans. Those shorts had, however, no resemblance to mine other than their origin-- these had been so short they barely covered anything and showed off almost all of her gorgeous legs. The top had been so tight it was evident she didn't intend to wear anything underneath it.

I rolled over to my stomach and groaned at the discomfort. I suppose it was a normal reaction for someone who'd been waiting as long as I had, but that didn't make me more at ease with my body's behavior. As I tried to will it to calm down, there was a sharp rap on the door. I guess dad thought I should get up. I groaned again and buried my head under my pillow as I shouted "Coming."

Before I had time to get myself together the door opened and closed and then the unmistakable scent of Nessie hit me just before her small body landed on top of mine. I groaned loudly.

"Well, good morning to you too, Sunshine!" Her voice was filled with smile and laughter.

I rocked so that she slid off me to sit on the edge of the bed, then rolled onto my side with my back against the wall. I gave a silent sigh of relief when I saw what she wore, although I was also little disappointed. It was a very modest checkered, sleeveless dress in bright yellow and white. It reached almost to her knees and was pretty high in the neck. This was good, I'd probably be able to behave myself around this garment. Probably.

"Mornin'." I sounded like a grumpy old man. Great, Jacob, you're so happy to see her you could cry, but you make it sound like she's disturbing you.

She giggled. "I guess someone hasn't had his morning coffee just yet." She was beaming like the sun.

"Mmm..." I wasn't sure what to say, or what to do for that matter.

Her smile grew even bigger. "How about you get yourself out of bed while I make you some coffee? Would you like toast and eggs with that?" She looked spiteful.

"You'd make eggs?" Don't get me wrong, I love my girl, but she couldn't cook even if her life depended on it.

"No silly, mom sent them. I'll take that as a yes, by the way." With those words she flitted out of the room and seconds later I heard her rummaging about in the small kitchen.

It didn't take me very long to get ready and when I turned the corner to the kitchen I stopped dead in my tracks. Gone was the dress and there was Nessie in the little outfit she had shown me yesterday. Gone was also what little self control I had regained.

She giggled."What?" She smiled.

She knew damn well what. "Where did your dress go?" Ouch! Jacob Black, you're so un-smooth with words that it physically hurts.

"That old rag? You don't expect me to wear that around people, now do you? I only wore it 'cos mom and dad would never let me out of the house like this." She smiled and pointed at her outfit in a sweeping gesture. "You like it?" She did a little twirl and when her back was towards me she wiggled her butt a little.

I groaned.

"I'll take that as another yes. Here's your coffee." She placed a cup of something jet black before me. I had forgotten that her inability to cook involved coffee-making. I took a sip and groaned again.

"Hey, at least I get an F for effort." She was giggling, her disability in the kitchen was well known, and she was always the first to laugh about it.

The coffee did wake me up though. Enough to see that we were obviously alone in the house. "Where's Billy?" Even if my dad by some reason were still asleep his snores would have been heard no matter where in the house we were.

"I met him in the door, he and Charlie were going fishing and then to eat at Sue's as usual." Her smile was so wide it looked painful.

"What? You mean..." I shook my head, I couldn't really grasp it.

"We're alone. We have the house to ourselves. All day."

No wonder she had been so smug earlier. "I can't believe it." Billy had talked about how ridiculous he thought this whole chaperon thing was, especially since both me and Nessie were grown-ups. At least as much as we would ever be. But that he'd completely ignored Edward and Bella's direct instructions baffled me.

"He said he had better things to do than to babysit a couple of horndogs on Charlie's day off. There was fish needin' catchin'."

I smiled; I could really hear dad's voice when she said that. I suspected that he would have found a reason to be out of the house even if every fishing buddy he had was busy and the sea frozen solid.

"So.." I felt a bit lost.

"My suggestion is this: We pick up where we left off yesterday. I didn't get enough, by far." And with those words she straddled my legs, sat down right in my lap and pressed her burning lips against mine.

---  
**AN:** I'll try to be swifter next time! Was it worth the wait?


	14. board game

**Authors Note:** All Twilight-related characters belong to **Stephenie Meyer**, the rest are mine, mine, MINE! Moahaha *malicious laughter* So, I was very happy to see so many of you return after my long absence. I hope you'll enjoy this continuation of the previous steamy chapter.

For those who are interested, biteme4realz has written a fanfic about Collin and my character Mandy (latest seen in chapter 11) and it's surreal to say the least =) Well, I said I intend to write about them, but with the current speed of writing there won't be time for that before all parts of BD are filmed and released on DVD. So if you wanna read about someone else's perception of them, go check it out.

**beta: LaCrema**

**Chapter 14**

**Jacob**

I sat in my kitchen, a bit starstruck to say the least, counting slowly to 50. I had orders not to cheat, and I didn't want to risk her loosing her good mood.

35... 36...

After that searing hot kiss, she had moved her lips across my cheek, grazing my skin with her sharp teeth, then grabbing my earlobe between her teeth. Just as she whispered my name, I saw Mrs. Ateara standing on the street outside the house. Watching us with her mouth open.

40... 41...

I had cleared my throat and gently turned my beloved Nessie's head towards the window. She giggled and waved, which made Mrs. Ateara go tomato-red, turn on the spot, and more run than walk away. When I had said we'd better go somewhere not so visible from the street, since the pack gossips worse than old ladies, Nessie agreed.

44... 45...

She said she had something planned but that I would have to wait while she got things in order.

With one last nibble on my earlobe she had left me sitting in the kitchen, counting.

48... 49... 50! Finally!

"Ready or not, here I come!" I could hear her giggle in response. Even if I hadn't heard her when she went into my room, I would have known that was where she was. The scent of Nessie was oozing out from the slightly askew door. For a brief moment I wondered how sensitive my father's nose was, if when he came home the scent of Jacob and Nessie together would trickle out, telling him exactly what we had been doing. Then I opened the door and didn't care anymore.

She was stunning!  
I didn't know what was different, only that something was. She was still wearing the same clothes, and the only preparations I could see were the closed curtains and a lit candle, the only light source in the room, setting beside an old-looking board game.

"Well... Here I am." I shrugged.

"Yeah, here you are. I thought we'd play a game I borrowed from the mansion," she said coyly.

"Sure, sure." Oh, woohoo, board game... It had to be the Edward in her who found that exciting.

"It's a couple's game. I've seen Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett play it." She winked.

"Okay..." That couple knew how to get it on, that much was sure. I picked up the box from the floor, where it was laying upside down, displaying the printed rules.

"Nessie, there's no name on the box." It looked old, it was a yellow color that implied that the cardboard had once been white. It smelled old too, not dusty like old stuff in the attic, but in a way I couldn't really put my finger on. I turned it again and inspected the rules. The type was old-fashioned, printed on a paper glued to the lid of the box. It looked like they had actually been typed on a typewriter.

"I know. I asked Rose about it once, she said it had had a "belt" of sort, and that the name had been on there. Unfortunately the game had been a wedding gift and Emmett had been hasty unwrapping it..." She bit her lip, shrugged her shoulders and looked up at me from underneath her bangs.

"So... It's really old." I was a bit disappointed, but I sat down and placed the box as it had been when I picked it up.

"Yep, I think Alice bought it from and antiquity shop that specialized in adult games from the 19th century." She giggled.

"And they tore the box?" I guess it didn't matter when you had as much money as they did.

"Rose said Alice was furious with them for weeks." She was still biting her lip. I reached over to kiss her.

"Stop!" She put a raised index finger across my lips "The rules say "No interaction other than what's described in the open slot." She pointed down at the lid of the box. I grabbed around her neck and pulled her so close our noses touched.

"Then I better do this before we start playing!" I reached out my tongue and traced her lips from corner to corner, softly nibbling them before pressing her closer and kissing her with all the desire I had. She was not just allowing it, she was kissing me back with just as much passion. She pulled away first.

"Now... Game..." She was panting.

I snickered. I loved when I had that effect on her and not just the other way around. "Sure, sure." I gave her a quick peck on the lips before jolting back to avoid the pillow she was swinging at me. "Did your slot tell you to do that?"

She stuck her tongue out at me. "Okay, the rules are..." She paused for effect, and I couldn't help rolling my eyes, then she continued with a tone of authority.

" One: Two participants. Male using the man-shaped figurine, female using the woman-shaped figurine. Male uses the right side of the board, female uses the left side of the board."

She nodded and handed me a Tarzan-like brass figurine, complete with a loin cloth and all. Hers wasn't much better, the little woman was half-wrapped in a sheet or something like that, leaving little to the imagination. It resembled that girl on the sea shell in a painting Carlisle showed me... Venus, I think.

"Two: The male begins--"

I snickered, this game was so apparently from another time it was ridiculous.

Nessie glared at me, but continued reading, "--by throwing the dice, and then moving as many slots as the dice shows. Open the slot and follow the instructions. Three: No interaction other than what's described in the open slot." She raised her left eyebrow towards me, but a smile tugged the corner of her mouth, telling me she wasn't mad at all. "Four: The next level can only be reached when both participants have completed their side. First to complete their side begins on the next level." She put the box down and handed me the dice.

"You're not gonna read the rest of the rules?" There was half of the paper left with what looked like more rules all over it.

"Nah, it was mostly stuff about punishment for cheating, which we won't need, right, Jacob?" Her eyes caught mine and kept them there, demanding a reassuring answer.

"Sure, sure..." Fiddling with the dice wasn't cheating, right?

"JACOB!" She was getting annoyed.

"Fine, I'll be good, I'll play nice. At least I get to start." I winked at her and rolled. The dice turned up a 5 and I snickered as I moved my little Tarzan-marker to the fifth slot. I pulled the slot's cover aside, and as old as the game was, it didn't jam at all. I cleared my throat and read aloud. "Using a feather, caress her face until she does not end one shiver before the next begins." I looked over at Nessie, only to see her pick up a feather from a little pile of things on the other side of the board.

"It came with a list of what was needed. And you're not supposed to tell me what it says, or at least any more than you need to for you to complete the task. No talking unless necessary, I forgot to tell you that rule." She giggled and zipped her mouth, locked it and threw away the key. Then she handed me the feather.

"I can't believe you did that, you're such a dork." She stuck out her tongue at me and giggled again. She might be a dork, but she was my dork. I leaned over the board and with the feather and caressed her forehead and then down over her eyes, one at a time, so that she closed them. She didn't open them again. That was good, it made me a little less nervous, because I was feeling really silly. The feather looked so tiny in my hand, and I couldn't imagine it feeling good in any way. All I had ever known them to be good for, except for coating birds, was tickling. And that wasn't very sensual, that much even I knew.

When I gently swept the feather over her lips, they trembled and I noticed smugly that she shivered lightly. Maybe the game-makers weren't that much off after all. I continued down her neck, and before the wrinkle between her eyebrows got too big I returned to her chin and trailed it, causing another ripple of shivers in her slender body. I followed the line of her cheekbones back and forward, drawing the line over her nose so I wouldn't cause her to sneeze.

When I once more touched her lips the tremble died out only seconds before the next started and she sucked in air between her teeth, obviously trying to last. I leaned forward and just breathed next to her right ear as I once more trailed her neck. This time she couldn't stop it, the shivering continued and as I moved the feather new convulsions made her tremble. I sat back and watched her adoringly as she calmed down.

Her eyes were misty when she opened them, but she did not open her mouth, she only held her hand out for the dice. I handed it to her, careful not to touch her-- we were playing by the _rules,_after all. I had to smirk at the sarcasm of my thoughts, a bit disappointed that I couldn't share it with her.

She rolled the dice, getting a 3, and moved her marker to the slot. She opened the cover, read the instructions and closed it again. She rummaged about in the pile and came out with a whip. Yikes!

She crawled over to my side of the board and pulled up my t-shirt. I willingly lifted my arms but didn't do more to either help or hinder her. She let the whip follow the contours of my chest, and I had to bite my lip, it tickled so badly. A groan escaped me and she looked pleased. Though I was fairly sure she misinterpreted the meaning, she left my side and began grazing the top of my chest.

I liked how she had to almost climb into my lap to reach. The view was glorious. She was unmistakably excited, the thin top did nothing to hide that fact. I felt the whip return to my side and whimpered as I really wanted to scream at her to stop. This time she did not leave my side but just traveled across my belly to the other side and I felt like crying. This was pure torture, I couldn't take anymore.

"Please, Nessie, I can't take anymore, please stop," I cried.

"Oh?" She looked surprised. "It said continue until your partner can't take anymore, but I thought..."

"I'm sorry but it tickled so badly..." I felt like a dog for ruining the mood.

"Oh no! I'm so sorry Jacob, I didn't think... Jeez, I'm suck a klutz. I know how ticklish you are and still..." She was fretting, moving the whisk from one hand to the other, not thinking to lay it down.

"It's alright Ness, really. But next time a slot like this one opens, take a step forward, OK?" I pleaded

"I swear, cross my heart!"

As she crossed her heart my eyes again wandered where they shouldn't. I reached for the dice to get my mind on something else. I rolled a 4, moved my Tarzan and opened the slot. "Begin by kissing her feet, then move up towards the knees, still kissing, and continue until you can feel her pulse against your lips."

I didn't have to reach far to find her foot since she was still sitting beside me, and I decided that "feeling her pulse" would have to be altered a bit, since I could feel it from the second my lips touched her skin.

I decided I could kiss up to her knees, or until she whimpered. I kissed softly, harder, nibbling and almost licked my way towards her knees. I could hear her breathing get tenser and tenser. Just as I placed the last kiss on her kneecap, an ever-so-soft whimper escaped her lips. I smiled and sat back, handing her the dice.

She winked and rolled. She got a six, and as she leaned over the board to move her little Venus I got a very close look at her butt. I didn't know if it was intentional, but I enjoyed it thoroughly.

She turned around and climbed into my lap. I remained as I was, leaned back on my hands, and waited for her action. She seated herself right on my most sensitive area, making me groan as she kissed her way up my chest. I trembled before she even reached my neck, and I wanted to move so badly, I wanted to wrap my arms around her, kiss her... and do other things, too. But I had promised to play by the rules. Those cruel rules. When she kissed her way up my neck, I had to restrain myself even harder. But as her lips landed on mine I felt my control slip and my hips bucked up into her. She jumped off me with a giggle and handed me the dice.

Damn. I hated this teasing-game more than leeches. Almost.

I rolled and hit another five. I wasn't sure I'd be able to restrain myself, and was hesitant as I opened the slot.

"Lay her facing down, remove her blouse, and give her a full back massage, using only your hands and scented oil if you wish." Yeah, massage is good. That I could do.

I touched her shoulder to get her to lay down and she obeyed. I gently rolled her over to her stomach. After a bit of digging, I found a bottle of jasmine oil and poured some in my hands. Then I realized I probably should have undressed her first.

"Uhm, Ness..." We could double for this year's klutz-award.

"Yes, my love..." Her voice was dreamy and thick.

"Could you please remove your top? I was supposed to but I forg..." Before I could finish the sentence she shrugged out of the tank top and discarded it, leaving her back bare. I had to try my hardest to ignore the fact that bare back meant bare... Stop! I couldn't think it, not if I was going to make it through my assignment. Bare back meant nothing more than it did while she was sunbathing in Phoenix on spring break and untied her bikini to not get any white marks. Right...

"Thanks." I rubbed my hands together and then placed them on her. I knew I was fairly good at massaging. Maybe not humans, but we had learned that massage was good for those about to phase, it eased the soreness sprung from the intensive growth spur. She let out small, contented sighs every now and then. I started wondering how long I was supposed to go on, there had been no limit on the card. In the end, I stopped when all of the oil had been soaked up by her skin and my hands.

She reached out her hand and rolled the dice without leaving the floor.

She moved over to be able to read the instructions and then reached for a pen and some paper. I watched her as she wrote. I was dying to know what the topic was, I loved it when she wrote, she had such a way with words. When she laid down her pen she folded the paper and handed it to me.

"You are to open this when you roll a two. Before that you cannot read it."

"Unfair, what if I don't roll a two at all?" I wanted to read that note, badly.

"Well, I guess then you can read it when we're done playing." I liked that. She handed me the dice and of course I rolled a six the first time I had ever hoped for a low roll. The six steps left me on the last box, at the end of my side of the board. I looked over at Nessie, still lying on the floor, and smiled. "Looks like I get to begin the next level, as well." She just smiled back at me as I opened my last slot.

"You are at the end of the first level. Tease her as much as you can until she also reaches the end of the board." I smirked and handed her the dice. She rolled again, receiving a four and looking at her instructions.

"Three parts of your body I love, and why... Your heart, because it's big, warm, and wonderful." I could feel said heart swell in my chest. "Your mouth, because it tells me beautiful things and because of your amazing kisses." I remembered that I was supposed to tease her and puckered my lips a little, feeling a bit silly "And last but not least, your hands, because they can do wonderful things." She blushed as she said the last, and I wondered why. What was so amazing about my wood carvings?

She handed me the dice, but I handed it back to her, pointing at my Tarzan standing at the end.

She smiled and rolled. She got a six, but there were only two steps left to the last box. She moved her Venus, opened the slot and read out loud.

"You are at the end of the first level. For every roll he has to make from now until he reaches the end too, remove a part of your own clothing to tease him." Darn! Why did I have to get there first?

Nessie fiddled with a switch of some sort, and with a little persuasion the whole top of the board moved a few inches in its frame, knocking over our figurines in the process. I could see that the text had changed and understood what the next level meant. New assignments. Before I had time to think, Nessie signed for a time-out.

"Sure, sure... Any particular reason?" I smiled at her, she was beautiful where she was laying on my bedroom floor, illuminated by the soft light from a single candle. It cast animated shadows over her bare back as the flame danced in the draft of my heavy breathing. Lucky thing we were supernatural or we would never have been able to read what the slots said.

"Nope, just wanted to do this before we continued." And once again she crawled into my lap, I didn't dare stray from her eyes with mine now that she was of off the floor in all her shirtlessness, and kissed me fiercely.  
----

**AN:** Before you all tear me to pieces, the continuation of this has already been requested and it'll be up in "by request" as soon as I've finished it and the beta have had it's go at it. So keep an eye there if you wanna read about when the playing gets hot =)  
I hope you liked this chapter, and if not, let me know anyway.


	15. not as anticipated

**Authors Note:** All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, the rest is me.  
Seriously? You're still reading my fic after all this time? THANK YOU! I'll try to bring my two troubled love wolves to shore but where, and how rocky a shore that'll turn out to be, I still don't know. I hope you'll enjoy it all the same!

I'm once more going solo,** NO BETA,** so bare with me please, I have no one to correct me and telling me I make no sense whatsoever.

...

Jacob

I was intensely aware of her, as she sat right next to my elbow, and kept my eyes at the person speaking at the front of the room. No matter how I tried, and I had tried for the better part of a month now, the teachers could hold my attention no longer than five minutes. Every night I had to spend bent over the books, while she explained to me everything I had missed. I loved Nessie, but I hated how she had to spend so much time teaching me. And I didn't have the heart to tell her it was all because of her. With her in the next seat, my focus was inevitably on her.

After a summer full of sneaking around, stealing "chaperoned" sleep-overs at my dad's, who somehow always ended up getting late at Sue's, or Charlie's, and just about having skin contact all the time, this was excruciating. Not only did I have to wear jeans, which I wonder how I could ever have loved before my phasing begun, and sweaters, I also had to keep my hands to myself. Edward had followed us the first days, just to make sure we were settling in alright. He told me how me towering over Nessie and always touching her in one way or another, was giving just about every person we met crazy stalker feelings towards me. I shrugged it off. The next day I looked at something else than Nessie for a change, and realized one needn't be a mind reader to draw that conclusion. So I stopped. But living in dorms, Nessie's guarded by the grumpiest matron I could ever have imagined, there was really no toughing her in the off hours either. And definitely no sleep overs.

I knew I was sulking, but I couldn't help myself. I had imagined how great college would be, how we'd get to live on our own, since the rest were still going to Harvard. Since my night classes had gone fairly smooth, I thought I had the knack for studying. Turns out, our teacher must have been very tired of teaching. Half the things I read in my books now, I've never even heard of before, and the books seem to take for granted that I'm fully educated. We didn't even study in the privacy of her or my room, oh no, we had to go to the library, so my humiliation was also public. Afterwards I would go back to my room and call Edward over Skype and then he would explain very thing to me again. Given that he had gone through the subjects many times, he was a great help, knowing just about all ways to teach a thing. Still, talking to my beloveds' father wasn't at all how I wanted to spend my nights.

Worst of all was, I could feel that she was unhappy too. Probably because of me and my sulking, but I couldn't know for sure because she absolutely refused to tell me. Which to me made it pretty evident it was because of me.

The rooms fill with chatter and noise as the lecture ends and everyone gets to their feet. I get up, and offer Nessie my hand. She takes it, but doesn't show me anything. She hasn't since the very first day. She's afraid she'll forget herself and project while touching someone else. She did with the principal as they were shaking hands that day. Luckily, he was a bit stressed and thought he was imagining things. Nessie didn't even notice, it was Edward who told her after wards. She led me out of the house, and for the first time since we came here, the sun was out. I feel it warm my face and I couldn't help the wide smile growing on my face. I glanced over at the gorgeous girl next to me, her skin sparkling ever so slightly, as if she was using some product or something. It wasn't an obvious thing like her family's, but just a subtle, healthy glow. I saw her mile with all her face as well, as she was facing the sun with her eyes closed. She squeezed my hand a little.

"I want to go hunt!" The direct message felt unnatural after so many weeks of silence. I didn't know how to answer her, I couldn't very well speak out loud since we were surrounded by people. So I did what any sane man in my position would have done. I kissed her. Just like that, I wrapped her up in my arms and pressed a very direct and unromantic kiss on her soft, trembling lips.

Nessie

I couldn't believe he was finally kissing me. I felt my heart grow warm again, just like the sun had heated my face, my insides were melting from being wrapped up in his arms. I knew we should go to the library, Jacob needed to study so badly. I hated every second of it. No talking, just whispering, and I knew I could have taught him everything he needed to know, even right there in class, if it had been possible for me to just project it to him. But I didn't dare to do that. It was way too risky, we had to keep a low profile after all.

I unwrapped myself and began towing him towards the car. Poor thing, it had been all but abandoned since we got here. With global warming, oil crisis and all, the low profile thing was to leave the car by the dorms and walk around campus. Also, my father had firm opinions on wasting finitive resources. But it wouldn't be very discrete to run out of town. So the car it was. I could feel Jacob following me in a reluctant trot. I knew it was because he worried about school. To be honest, my whole family worried about his results, not that I would ever tell him that.

As we reached the car, I slipped in to the passenger seat. I usually loved to drive, but so did Jacob and I wanted to make him happy today. He got in, and after cursing under his breath while trying to fit his knees around the steering wheel, he pulled and yanked at the levers.

"How the leeches can you drive like this?" He frowned at me as I couldn't stifle the giggle in my throat.

"Maybe because I'm not as freakishly big as you are?" I said it with a light tone, making sure not to step on any soar paws. "Want help adjusting that?" I pointed at the seat, which was still very close to the wheel, while the back lied almost flat in the backseat.

"No, I can do this, you don..." He quieted down as I leaned over him, put a hand down between his legs, and yanked at the lever by his left ankle. When I had it all the way up, I gave him a light shove with my shoulder and the seat glided back without a hitch. I heard him moan and looked up gleefully.

Jacob

Nessie had her head pretty much between my legs when I saw her Dungeon Master, ehr, Dorm Monster, UGH! Mrs. Wilkes, coming down the street at a rapid pace. She seemed like a war cruiser heading for a hot zone as she plowed through the few students cluttering the side walk. I could only hope she would pass out of sight from the car, I didn't want Nessie to stop, it was nice to have her so close after all this time. But when the seat slammed back as Nessie shoved me, her head turned towards me, and as a heat seeking missile she changed path. I let out a pained sigh.

As she reached my open window, she spotted Nessie, who was just looking up at me with a very content expression. She turned red, then purple, then scarlet, and turned straight around and stomped of. I could hear her muttering under her breath, "Well, I have never in all my years... "

Nessie's laughter brought me back to reality, and I couldn't help myself from joining her.

"Can you imagine what this must have looked like to her?" Nessie had stars in her eyes as she spoke.

"Well, actually I can. I have pretty much the same view, and it is mighty tempting I might add." I winked at her as I finished the sentence. Part of me wished she would pick up the line, and part of me begged she wouldn't. I loved when she teased me, but I longed so badly for her, that I was unsure whether I would be able to contain myself if she did. After an almost awkward moment when no one seemed sure of where to look or what to do, she sat back up in her own seat.

"Come on my big bad wolf, let's get out of here!" How's that for giving a guy dirty ideas I ask you?

...

AN: So, I know it's short, too short, but that's all I have at the moment. Sorry. I hope you like it though!


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